Explanation of the hadith of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: “The two who exchange insults: what they said is upon the one who started, as long as the wronged one does not transgress.”

The Shaykh : This chapter has come, and as we said, it is a part of a hadith that the author (may Allah have mercy on him) presented with his authentic chain of narration from Abu Hurayrah from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), who said: . What does “as long as the wronged one does not transgress” mean? It means that the wronged one, who is the second person insulted by the first, has the right in Islam to respond to the one who insults and abuses him with abuse, based on the principle: . So if someone insults you, you may respond to him in kind and not exceed it; otherwise, what would that be? You would have transgressed. So here, if we suppose the man who started the abuse insulted the second man with five insults, and the second man responded and defended himself by right, insulting the first abuser with five insults, the total becomes ten. The sin of the ten insults is upon the one who started. If the second abuser adds one to the five, he becomes a transgressor and becomes a wrongdoer. At that point, the two of them share in the wrongdoing and the burden. From here we take a benefit, perhaps we mentioned it, I no longer remember now, in this lesson or in the lesson on hadith with men; perhaps there is a benefit regarding patience, patience. So if one person insults me, it is better not to respond to him, , but our Lord (Mighty and Majestic) is gentle and merciful with His servants. He knows that not all people can bear to be characterized with this noble Islamic character, that if you say “you are a liar,” what does he say? “Peace,” he does not respond to him, . He says to him “liar,” he does not say to him “you are a liar.” If he said to him “you,” he would not have committed a sin by the indication of this hadith. But if he said to him “you are a liar, son of a liar,” as is usually the case, he would be committing injustice, and he would see that he has shared with the initiator in the injustice, whereas he was able to follow the second stage, which is a dispensation. So in dealing with the one who insults, we have two ways, or two schools, or two levels, or we can call it whatever we wish. The higher and better level is the level of the sincere friends and the righteous, that if someone transgresses against them with an insult, or abuse, or bad speech, they conduct themselves with the etiquette of the Qur'an, those whom Allah (Mighty and Majestic) described: What is it?
The student : The student: .

The Shaykh : , “You are a liar,” he says to him “Peace.” This is the first level. The second level is that he responds to him as he said to him “you are a liar,” not “I.” So this character in this hadith educates us to restrain ourselves. If someone insults me, what is the benefit? It is better for Allah, who has permitted us, to restrain our character a little. It means He did not obligate us to say “Peace,” because He did not encourage us to do so. But control your nerves, do not let yourself go in your foolishness as your companion did, starting to insult you without what? Starting from you. So do not increase in the abuse in the response. At that point, you have first won for yourself, because you have restrained your character, and second, you have won over your companion, because the insults you directed at him have turned into a burden upon him. So this mutual abuse is all upon the one who started, as long as the wronged one does not transgress. If the wronged one transgresses, the two of them share, and both become equal in the air; therefore, we must learn the etiquettes of Islam, at least what has been permitted to us in them, such as responding to the transgressor in kind and not exceeding that. Otherwise, it is better that we pardon and overlook, and this is the etiquette of Islam. And with this amount, it is sufficient, and praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

The questioner: ... you call upon Allah to forgive you.

The Shaykh: Yes.

The questioner: You excepted Allah to forgive you ... .

The Shaykh : No, later. The matter of “May Allah forgive you” is permissible that it is not placed in every place, because there are people for whom the word increases their misguidance upon misguidance, it makes them greedy. But if it is from the people who think that it is not their habit to insult and abuse, and he has restrained his character, then this is correct speech.