What is the ruling on offering condolences? And does one go to the family of the deceased to offer them condolences?
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The questioner : The question asks: What is the ruling on offering condolences, and does one go to the family of the deceased to offer them condolences, knowing that many women go to offer condolences and sit there, and no benefit worth mentioning results from their going? Is offering condolences permissible or not permissible? And does calling the family of the deceased on the phone count as offering condolences, with evidence? And likewise, offering condolences to relatives, knowing that if we do not go, it does not lead to severing ties. And what do you say about some of us going during the time of condolences in order to refute innovations or to console the family of the deceased if the calamity is great?
The Shaykh : This is the way out: if a person goes to the place of condolences first for the sake of offering condolences, and then to point out the violations of the Shari'ah that they are doing, then this is permissible. Otherwise, the woman should suffice with offering condolences over the phone.
On this occasion, I mention a point that I do often, and it draws attention to an issue that you may not have heard of. If you see the truth in it, then act upon it; otherwise, guide us to the truth. It is known today among people that when 'Id al-Fitr or 'Id al-Adha arrives, some of them go to visit each other to congratulate one another. Do you say this in this country?
The questioner : Yes, yes.
The Shaykh : I believe that this congratulation is a religious innovation.
The questioner : Strange.
The Shaykh : Yes, by Allah.
The questioner : We are hearing this for the first time.
The Shaykh : You are hearing this for the first time.
The questioner : We always hear, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : No, you are hearing this for the first time; you have not heard what you just heard.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : So I say that this congratulation is a religious innovation in Islam; it was not done in the past. Congratulation is only done in the prayer area, and from here appears the wisdom of gathering the Muslims in one place on the day of 'Id, because they greet each other and get to know one another.
The point is: the Muslims today, as you know, do not know this issue, and if they knew it, it would be difficult for them to implement it.
The point is: I sometimes go to congratulate some of the brothers, but I tell him, "I see that I came to you as a visitor, and I did not come to you..."
The questioner : To congratulate.
The Shaykh : To congratulate, because this congratulation is a religious innovation. So I came first to take advantage of the opportunity of your being at home; I am visiting you on one hand, and conveying the legal ruling to you on the other hand.
So if the women do this in offering condolences or in other matters, let them combine performing the condolence, which is a recommended practice without doubt, with pointing out some of the wrongs that may occur. And I do this too sometimes when I am convinced that if I attend the place of condolences, my words will be heard. So I attend and find, unfortunately, that they have the recorder playing the Qur'an, and the men are smoking and talking to one another, as if this recording is for the jinn and not for humans. So I advise them and remind them that this gathering of yours is contrary to the Sunnah. How so, when it is accompanied by open violations? The point is that going to offer condolences while refuting innovations is in their interest.
The questioner : It is a custom, O Shaykh. It is a custom. I mean, now the country has expanded, and the prayer area, I mean, you do not find everyone you want to greet in the prayer area, so you are forced to move around.
The Shaykh : Why do you not find them? Because they are preserving the Sunnah?
The questioner : They pray in another prayer area, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : You did not answer me: because they are preserving the Sunnah? The prayer area must be spacious enough for the whole town. Otherwise, what is the benefit if we are scattered in the mosques and not scattered in the prayer areas?
The questioner : The reality is that it does not fit; it does not fit. This is the reality.
The Shaykh : No problem. How many people are in a town where the prayer area does not fit them, with the wide earth of Allah?
The questioner : The issue of gathering people in one prayer area.
The Shaykh : Correct, but...
The questioner : It is as if he is saying, and the solution is...
The Shaykh : It is obligatory for the one who has the power to bind and release to point out, in the best manner, the ruling of the Shari'ah. They should choose a wide piece of land that fits all the people of the town. Correct, if it were, for example, like Egypt and Cairo, or like London, they might say that one may have to travel a distance of one hundred kilometers from its east to its west, or from its north to its south, or more than that. This may be possible. But when is it said that it is not possible? After applying thought and exhausting effort. As for us being lazy and relying on what we are doing, this is not an excuse.
The Shaykh : This is the way out: if a person goes to the place of condolences first for the sake of offering condolences, and then to point out the violations of the Shari'ah that they are doing, then this is permissible. Otherwise, the woman should suffice with offering condolences over the phone.
On this occasion, I mention a point that I do often, and it draws attention to an issue that you may not have heard of. If you see the truth in it, then act upon it; otherwise, guide us to the truth. It is known today among people that when 'Id al-Fitr or 'Id al-Adha arrives, some of them go to visit each other to congratulate one another. Do you say this in this country?
The questioner : Yes, yes.
The Shaykh : I believe that this congratulation is a religious innovation.
The questioner : Strange.
The Shaykh : Yes, by Allah.
The questioner : We are hearing this for the first time.
The Shaykh : You are hearing this for the first time.
The questioner : We always hear, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : No, you are hearing this for the first time; you have not heard what you just heard.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : So I say that this congratulation is a religious innovation in Islam; it was not done in the past. Congratulation is only done in the prayer area, and from here appears the wisdom of gathering the Muslims in one place on the day of 'Id, because they greet each other and get to know one another.
The point is: the Muslims today, as you know, do not know this issue, and if they knew it, it would be difficult for them to implement it.
The point is: I sometimes go to congratulate some of the brothers, but I tell him, "I see that I came to you as a visitor, and I did not come to you..."
The questioner : To congratulate.
The Shaykh : To congratulate, because this congratulation is a religious innovation. So I came first to take advantage of the opportunity of your being at home; I am visiting you on one hand, and conveying the legal ruling to you on the other hand.
So if the women do this in offering condolences or in other matters, let them combine performing the condolence, which is a recommended practice without doubt, with pointing out some of the wrongs that may occur. And I do this too sometimes when I am convinced that if I attend the place of condolences, my words will be heard. So I attend and find, unfortunately, that they have the recorder playing the Qur'an, and the men are smoking and talking to one another, as if this recording is for the jinn and not for humans. So I advise them and remind them that this gathering of yours is contrary to the Sunnah. How so, when it is accompanied by open violations? The point is that going to offer condolences while refuting innovations is in their interest.
The questioner : It is a custom, O Shaykh. It is a custom. I mean, now the country has expanded, and the prayer area, I mean, you do not find everyone you want to greet in the prayer area, so you are forced to move around.
The Shaykh : Why do you not find them? Because they are preserving the Sunnah?
The questioner : They pray in another prayer area, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : You did not answer me: because they are preserving the Sunnah? The prayer area must be spacious enough for the whole town. Otherwise, what is the benefit if we are scattered in the mosques and not scattered in the prayer areas?
The questioner : The reality is that it does not fit; it does not fit. This is the reality.
The Shaykh : No problem. How many people are in a town where the prayer area does not fit them, with the wide earth of Allah?
The questioner : The issue of gathering people in one prayer area.
The Shaykh : Correct, but...
The questioner : It is as if he is saying, and the solution is...
The Shaykh : It is obligatory for the one who has the power to bind and release to point out, in the best manner, the ruling of the Shari'ah. They should choose a wide piece of land that fits all the people of the town. Correct, if it were, for example, like Egypt and Cairo, or like London, they might say that one may have to travel a distance of one hundred kilometers from its east to its west, or from its north to its south, or more than that. This may be possible. But when is it said that it is not possible? After applying thought and exhausting effort. As for us being lazy and relying on what we are doing, this is not an excuse.