What is the ruling on offering condolences? And should one go to the family of the deceased to offer them condolences?
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The questioner : The question is: What is the ruling on offering condolences? And should one go to the family of the deceased to offer them condolences? Knowing that many women go to offer condolences and sit there, and no benefit worth mentioning results from their going, is offering condolences permissible or not permissible? And does calling the family of the deceased on the phone count as offering condolences, with evidence? And likewise, regarding offering condolences to relatives; knowing that if we do not go, it does not lead to severing ties; what do you say about some of us going during the time of condolences in order to denounce innovations or to console the family of the deceased if the calamity is great?
The Shaykh : This is the way out: if a person goes to the place of condolences for the sake of offering condolences first, and then to point out the violations of the Shari'ah that they are doing, then this is permissible; otherwise, the woman should suffice with offering condolences over the phone. On this occasion, I mention a point that I do often, and in it is a reminder of an issue that you may not have heard of. If you see it to be correct, then act upon it; otherwise, guide us to the correct view. It is known among people today that when 'Id al-Fitr or 'Id al-Adha arrives, some of them go to visit each other to congratulate each other. Do you say this in this country?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : I believe that this congratulating is a religious innovation.
The questioner : Strange.
The Shaykh: Yes, by Allah.
The questioner : The first time I have heard it.
The Shaykh : The first time you have heard it.
The questioner : The first time...
The Shaykh : The first time you have heard what you have just heard. So I say: because this congratulating is a religious innovation in Islam; it was not done in the old days. And congratulating is only done in the prayer ground. From here appears the wisdom of gathering the Muslims in one place on the day of 'Id; because they greet each other and get to know one another.
The point is: that the Muslims today, as you know, do not know this issue. And if they knew it, it would be difficult for them to implement it. The point is: that I sometimes go to congratulate some of my brothers. Do you not see that I came to you as a visitor, not as one offering congratulations? Because this congratulating is a religious innovation. And I came to you first to take advantage of the opportunity of your being at home. So I am visiting you on one hand, and conveying a legal ruling to you on the other hand. So if the women did this in offering condolences or in other matters, they would have combined performing the offering of condolences, which is a recommended practice without doubt, with pointing out some of the wrongs that may occur. And I do this as well sometimes when I am convinced that if I attend the place of condolences, my words will be heard. So I attend and I find them—regrettably—playing the recorder with the Qur'an, and this one is smoking, and this one is talking to the other, and it is as if this... So I advise them and remind them that your gathering is contrary to the Sunnah. How so, when the gathering is accompanied by open violations?
The point is: that going to offer condolences with denunciation is for two benefits.
The questioner : ... meaning now the country has expanded, and we look, meaning you do not find everyone you want to greet in the prayer ground, so you are forced to move around.
The Shaykh : Why do you not find them? Because they are preserving the Sunnah?
The questioner : They pray in another prayer ground, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : You did not answer me! Because they are preserving the Sunnah? The prayer ground must be spacious enough for the whole town. Or what is the benefit of our being scattered in the mosques, or scattered in prayer grounds?
The questioner : The reality is that it is not spacious enough, it is not spacious enough, this is the reality.
The Shaykh : No problem, how many people are in the town for whom the prayer ground is not spacious enough, with the wide earth of Allah?
The questioner : The issue of gathering people in one prayer ground.
The Shaykh : Correct, but it is obligatory that those who have the power to bind and loose should point out, in the best manner, to the ruling of the Shari'ah. They should choose a wide piece of land that is spacious enough for all the people of the town. Yes, if it were—for example—like Egypt, like Cairo, or like London, where they say one might travel a distance of 100 km from its east to its west, or from its north to its south, or more than that, this is possible. But when is this said? It is not possible after employing thought and exerting effort. Relying on what we are doing now is not an excuse.
The Shaykh : This is the way out: if a person goes to the place of condolences for the sake of offering condolences first, and then to point out the violations of the Shari'ah that they are doing, then this is permissible; otherwise, the woman should suffice with offering condolences over the phone. On this occasion, I mention a point that I do often, and in it is a reminder of an issue that you may not have heard of. If you see it to be correct, then act upon it; otherwise, guide us to the correct view. It is known among people today that when 'Id al-Fitr or 'Id al-Adha arrives, some of them go to visit each other to congratulate each other. Do you say this in this country?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : I believe that this congratulating is a religious innovation.
The questioner : Strange.
The Shaykh: Yes, by Allah.
The questioner : The first time I have heard it.
The Shaykh : The first time you have heard it.
The questioner : The first time...
The Shaykh : The first time you have heard what you have just heard. So I say: because this congratulating is a religious innovation in Islam; it was not done in the old days. And congratulating is only done in the prayer ground. From here appears the wisdom of gathering the Muslims in one place on the day of 'Id; because they greet each other and get to know one another.
The point is: that the Muslims today, as you know, do not know this issue. And if they knew it, it would be difficult for them to implement it. The point is: that I sometimes go to congratulate some of my brothers. Do you not see that I came to you as a visitor, not as one offering congratulations? Because this congratulating is a religious innovation. And I came to you first to take advantage of the opportunity of your being at home. So I am visiting you on one hand, and conveying a legal ruling to you on the other hand. So if the women did this in offering condolences or in other matters, they would have combined performing the offering of condolences, which is a recommended practice without doubt, with pointing out some of the wrongs that may occur. And I do this as well sometimes when I am convinced that if I attend the place of condolences, my words will be heard. So I attend and I find them—regrettably—playing the recorder with the Qur'an, and this one is smoking, and this one is talking to the other, and it is as if this... So I advise them and remind them that your gathering is contrary to the Sunnah. How so, when the gathering is accompanied by open violations?
The point is: that going to offer condolences with denunciation is for two benefits.
The questioner : ... meaning now the country has expanded, and we look, meaning you do not find everyone you want to greet in the prayer ground, so you are forced to move around.
The Shaykh : Why do you not find them? Because they are preserving the Sunnah?
The questioner : They pray in another prayer ground, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : You did not answer me! Because they are preserving the Sunnah? The prayer ground must be spacious enough for the whole town. Or what is the benefit of our being scattered in the mosques, or scattered in prayer grounds?
The questioner : The reality is that it is not spacious enough, it is not spacious enough, this is the reality.
The Shaykh : No problem, how many people are in the town for whom the prayer ground is not spacious enough, with the wide earth of Allah?
The questioner : The issue of gathering people in one prayer ground.
The Shaykh : Correct, but it is obligatory that those who have the power to bind and loose should point out, in the best manner, to the ruling of the Shari'ah. They should choose a wide piece of land that is spacious enough for all the people of the town. Yes, if it were—for example—like Egypt, like Cairo, or like London, where they say one might travel a distance of 100 km from its east to its west, or from its north to its south, or more than that, this is possible. But when is this said? It is not possible after employing thought and exerting effort. Relying on what we are doing now is not an excuse.
Source
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