Hesitation Regarding Marriage
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Question: I have had a chronic illness since childhood. I experience sudden nervous breakdowns several times a day. I have a good job, and my livelihood is easy, praise be to Allah. This illness has made me an unhappy person, as I have been unable to find a cure and have reached an advanced age. However, I do not like marriage, I do not think about it, and I do not allow anyone to discuss it with me, despite my family’s insistence. This is the way of Allah in His creation. What is the ruling in the Shari'ah, in your opinion, regarding hesitating about marriage? Do I commit a sin by doing this? Please inform us, may Allah reward you.
Answer: First: We ask Allah for your healing from this illness you mentioned. You must be patient and seek reward from Allah for it. As for the issue of your leaving off marriage, this depends on your circumstances. If the reason for this is that you have no desire for marriage, in the sense that you have no disposition for marriage morally, and you do not feel sexual desire, then marriage is not obligatory for you in this case, because there is no benefit in marriage when the sexual instinct or desire is absent. So there is no blame on you for leaving off marriage in this case, because you are excused.
But if you have the disposition and the ability to marry, it is prescribed for you to marry, and it becomes more emphasized for you to marry, because marriage has many benefits, among which are:
Protecting yourself from what is forbidden, and protecting others.
And among them: Causing the attainment of offspring, which Islam desires to be attained.
But if you do not have the ability and there is no instinctive drive for marriage, there is no blame on you for leaving it off.
Answer: First: We ask Allah for your healing from this illness you mentioned. You must be patient and seek reward from Allah for it. As for the issue of your leaving off marriage, this depends on your circumstances. If the reason for this is that you have no desire for marriage, in the sense that you have no disposition for marriage morally, and you do not feel sexual desire, then marriage is not obligatory for you in this case, because there is no benefit in marriage when the sexual instinct or desire is absent. So there is no blame on you for leaving off marriage in this case, because you are excused.
But if you have the disposition and the ability to marry, it is prescribed for you to marry, and it becomes more emphasized for you to marry, because marriage has many benefits, among which are:
Protecting yourself from what is forbidden, and protecting others.
And among them: Causing the attainment of offspring, which Islam desires to be attained.
But if you do not have the ability and there is no instinctive drive for marriage, there is no blame on you for leaving it off.