If the father's children have wealth, and the father chooses one of them over his brothers and takes money from him for himself and his mother
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The questioner : If you please, returning to the question that Shaykh Husayn asked previously.
If the father has several sons, all of whom are living on the bare minimum, and he asks a specific person to take a sum from him so that the father and mother can subsist on this amount, while the other brothers are not asked, and this person has children who need to be raised, so if he gives the amount that suffices the mother and father, it will be deducted from his children; what is your opinion?
The Shaykh : Here there are two issues; one issue concerns the father, and one issue concerns the son. As for what concerns the father, why does he single out that son to take from him, while not taking from his other sons? Does it mean that this son is more affluent and richer than the others, or is he in the same state of ease or hardship as they are in the father's eyes?
The questioner : They are the same, but he sees that he is more religious, so he might be able to bear it more!
The Shaykh : They are the same?
The questioner : They are the same.
The Shaykh : Okay, he might be able to bear it more, meaning he responds to him, while the others do not respond; in that case, we say: this is the lot of the son, but the lot of the son regarding the Hereafter, not the worldly life,[Al-A'la 87:17]; so as for the father, the ruling is concluded; meaning, if the father singles out one of the sons to ask him in this arbitrary manner, he is being unjust, the opposite of the previous case, when he gives to one and not to the others; here it is exactly the opposite; he takes from one and not from others, and they are equal in his eyes; equal in material or in meaning, so in this case, when they are equal in his eyes, it is not permissible for him to single out one of them to ask him, while not asking the others, but if the motive and the driving force for him to single out one of them to ask him is his belief in his religion, his righteousness, and his piety, and that he responds to his father's desire; then this, as I said earlier, is a blessing for this son; where he was the object of his father's good opinion of him.
As for the son who has a family, and that if he provides for his father, what he provides to him will be deducted from the spending on his family, here one must look; is the deduction in the luxuries or in the necessities? If it is in the luxuries, he must obey his father, but if it is in the necessities, he excuses himself to his father, in the best manner, and not as most sons do today with their fathers, so yesterday a young man from our committed brothers came to me, and he mentioned to me a story that had some length, the important thing is that the father got angry, or what we say got angry at him, meaning he was angry with him and shouted in his face; until he threatened to hit him, so he fled from his father's house and came to me as if seeking support from me against his father, and I do not know him of course, but he wants to get a fatwa, I, after hearing him, rebuked him severely, indeed I admonished him, and I said: meaning, if your father hits you, do you hit him? I hope that means, if your father hits you, do you hit him?!
You today, O sons, treat your fathers as equals, peer to peer, the treatment of a brother to his brother, or a friend to his friend; if he is angry, he is angry at him, and if he is pleased, he is pleased with him, and so on, and I reminded him of some texts, including the great verse:[Al-Isra 17:23-24].
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The important thing is that I continued to advise this young man until he burst into tears, as if, and Allah knows best, he admitted that he had made a mistake with his father, where he left his house angry and without his permission, of course, so I ordered him to return to his father and apologize for what he did.
My purpose from all of this is that if one of the fathers asks his dutiful son for some money, and he sees that he needs to spend it on his wife and children; as I said: first: if what he is asking him for is from the luxuries for the son, meaning the son has a surplus; then in that case, he does not delay it at all, and if he does not have except the necessary sustenance, he gives him from the necessary sustenance, and in response to his request and his father's request; then in that case he excuses himself to him. The point here is that he lowers to him the wing of humility out of mercy, and uses gentle, soft speech, if he submits and responds, praise be to Allah, otherwise he must obey him, fearing that he will fall into angering him; because we assume, even if it is from the necessary sustenance, it does not mean that this necessity is such that he and his family will be exposed to harm in health.
The Shaykh : This is the answer to what you asked.
If the father has several sons, all of whom are living on the bare minimum, and he asks a specific person to take a sum from him so that the father and mother can subsist on this amount, while the other brothers are not asked, and this person has children who need to be raised, so if he gives the amount that suffices the mother and father, it will be deducted from his children; what is your opinion?
The Shaykh : Here there are two issues; one issue concerns the father, and one issue concerns the son. As for what concerns the father, why does he single out that son to take from him, while not taking from his other sons? Does it mean that this son is more affluent and richer than the others, or is he in the same state of ease or hardship as they are in the father's eyes?
The questioner : They are the same, but he sees that he is more religious, so he might be able to bear it more!
The Shaykh : They are the same?
The questioner : They are the same.
The Shaykh : Okay, he might be able to bear it more, meaning he responds to him, while the others do not respond; in that case, we say: this is the lot of the son, but the lot of the son regarding the Hereafter, not the worldly life,
While the Hereafter is better and more enduring.
وَالْآخِرَةُ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَىAs for the son who has a family, and that if he provides for his father, what he provides to him will be deducted from the spending on his family, here one must look; is the deduction in the luxuries or in the necessities? If it is in the luxuries, he must obey his father, but if it is in the necessities, he excuses himself to his father, in the best manner, and not as most sons do today with their fathers, so yesterday a young man from our committed brothers came to me, and he mentioned to me a story that had some length, the important thing is that the father got angry, or what we say got angry at him, meaning he was angry with him and shouted in his face; until he threatened to hit him, so he fled from his father's house and came to me as if seeking support from me against his father, and I do not know him of course, but he wants to get a fatwa, I, after hearing him, rebuked him severely, indeed I admonished him, and I said: meaning, if your father hits you, do you hit him? I hope that means, if your father hits you, do you hit him?!
You today, O sons, treat your fathers as equals, peer to peer, the treatment of a brother to his brother, or a friend to his friend; if he is angry, he is angry at him, and if he is pleased, he is pleased with him, and so on, and I reminded him of some texts, including the great verse:
(23) And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (24) And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاهُمَا فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا * وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا= -- ... ... -- = .
The important thing is that I continued to advise this young man until he burst into tears, as if, and Allah knows best, he admitted that he had made a mistake with his father, where he left his house angry and without his permission, of course, so I ordered him to return to his father and apologize for what he did.
My purpose from all of this is that if one of the fathers asks his dutiful son for some money, and he sees that he needs to spend it on his wife and children; as I said: first: if what he is asking him for is from the luxuries for the son, meaning the son has a surplus; then in that case, he does not delay it at all, and if he does not have except the necessary sustenance, he gives him from the necessary sustenance, and in response to his request and his father's request; then in that case he excuses himself to him. The point here is that he lowers to him the wing of humility out of mercy, and uses gentle, soft speech, if he submits and responds, praise be to Allah, otherwise he must obey him, fearing that he will fall into angering him; because we assume, even if it is from the necessary sustenance, it does not mean that this necessity is such that he and his family will be exposed to harm in health.
The Shaykh : This is the answer to what you asked.
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.