What is the authenticity of the hadith: “May Allah curse the women who visit graves and those who build mosques and lamps upon them”?

The questioner :
The hadith “May Allah curse the women who visit graves and those who build mosques and lamps upon them” is the hadith of Aisha.

The Shaykh :
First of all, you must know that this hadith was narrated in two wordings: “May Allah curse the women who visit graves” and “May Allah curse
the women who visit graves.” The first wording came as a standalone sentence: “May Allah curse the women who visit graves,” with nothing before it and nothing
after it. As for the other wording, “May Allah curse the women who visit graves,” this one has a continuation: “May Allah curse the women who visit graves
and those who build mosques and lamps upon them.” This second wording, in this context of completeness and perfection, is weak
in its chain of narration. So if you ask about “May Allah curse the women who visit graves,” do not add to this sentence “and those who build mosques and lamps
upon them,” because this continuation belongs only to the second narration, “May Allah curse the women who visit graves,” which is a weak narration.
The issue is that you are asking how to reconcile this hadith in its correct wording, “May Allah curse the women who visit graves,” with
the statement of Lady Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him): “If I visit the graves, what should
I say?” The answer is that his statement (peace and blessings be upon him), “May Allah curse the women who visit graves,” is a form of exaggeration that implies cursing those women who frequently
visit graves. These women have made visiting graves a custom and a habit. In reality, they do not
intend from such a visit what Lady Aisha intended when she wanted to visit, and therefore she asked
the Messenger to teach her what to say. I guarantee and pledge that if we took a million Muslim women today—this is if we exclude
men out of respect for men—and asked them, or if you prefer, asked them, what is the formula of greeting when a Muslim
passes by the graveyards or goes to visit them, what does he say? You will not find one, and if you wish, I will say one, who knows
the answer to this question. Why? Because all of them, women and men, are not concerned with applying the Shari'ah, but the purpose of
this visit is either to dispel a feeling that a person has: “Our father died, our brother died, our friend died, and we have not
visited them.” It does not occur to him that he is going to benefit himself and benefit his relative. He benefits himself, for it reminds him of the Hereafter, as
the hadith indicated. It benefits the one being visited by making a supplication for him, and he says, as stated at the end of the hadith: “I ask Allah for well-being for us and for you.”
So the reconciliation between the two hadiths is this: the women who visit graves intending a visit not for greeting and not
for taking a lesson. If she intends greeting and taking a lesson, then here is the hadith of Aisha: “If I visit the graves, what should I say?” And if
she intends something else, then here is the hadith of Husayn ibn Thabit and others: “May Allah curse the women who visit graves.” Please.