What is the ruling on a man who says to his wife: “You are like my mother,” or “You are forbidden to me like my sister,” and this was at a time when he was in the height of anger over her behavior?
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Question: What is the ruling on a man who says to his wife: “You are like my mother,” or “You are forbidden to me like my sister,” and this was at a time when he was in the height of anger over her behavior, knowing that he did not intend to forbid her, but rather to intimidate and frighten her,And he is ignorant of the ruling of the word: “You are like my mother or my sister” and all he believed was that a woman becomes forbidden to her husband by a word
of divorce only, and he also intended by saying that that he had sworn a divorce and had become forbidden to him by his divorce, whereas he had never sworn a divorce at all. The intention was to frighten her. So what is required of him now to continue his life with his wife?
Answer: These words he mentioned are the words of zihar. If he likened her to someone who is forbidden to him, such as his mother or his sister, intending that she is forbidden just as his mother or sister is forbidden, then by that he has committed zihar. And Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, has explained the ruling for the one who commits zihar in His saying: [Al-Mujadilah: 3, 4] .
Therefore, what is obligatory for the questioner, based on what he mentioned, is to perform the expiation for zihar before he touches his wife. This is either by freeing a slave if he is able to do so. If he is not able, then he must fast for two consecutive months if he cannot find a slave to free. If he is not able to fast due to a chronic illness or other excuses that prevent him from fasting, then he moves to feeding, feeding sixty poor people, each poor person receiving half a sa' of wheat or other food. But let him know that these three matters are in order. It is not permissible for him to move from freeing a slave unless he is unable to do so, and it is not permissible for him to move from fasting unless he is unable to do so. And this is a trust upon his conscience, so it is not permissible for him to touch his wife until he performs this expiation that Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, mentioned. Also, it is obligatory for the Muslim to guard his tongue from the words of zihar and the words of divorce, and other such things;Because this, as Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, said: [Al-Mujadilah: 2] , so zihar is an abomination, forbidden, and a lie. It is not permissible for a person to utter it, but if this happens
and he utters it, then Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, has made the expiation obligatory upon him in the order we mentioned. And even if he intended by it a divorce, this is explicit in zihar, and the explicit in zihar does not become a divorce, but rather it becomes zihar.
Question: And is there a difference in this between the state of anger and the state of calm?
Answer: There is no difference in that.
of divorce only, and he also intended by saying that that he had sworn a divorce and had become forbidden to him by his divorce, whereas he had never sworn a divorce at all. The intention was to frighten her. So what is required of him now to continue his life with his wife?
Answer: These words he mentioned are the words of zihar. If he likened her to someone who is forbidden to him, such as his mother or his sister, intending that she is forbidden just as his mother or sister is forbidden, then by that he has committed zihar. And Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, has explained the ruling for the one who commits zihar in His saying:
(3) And those who pronounce thihar from their wives and then [wish to] go back on what they said - then [there must be] the freeing of a slave before they touch one another. That is what you are admonished thereby; and Allah is Acquainted with what you do. (4) And he who does not find [a slave] - then a fast for two months consecutively before they touch one another; and he who is unable - then the feeding of sixty poor persons.
وَالَّذِينَ يُظَاهِرُونَ مِنْ نِسَائِهِمْ ثُمَّ يَعُودُونَ لِمَا قَالُوا فَتَحْرِيرُ رَقَبَةٍ مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ يَتَمَاسَّا ذَلِكُمْ تُوعَظُونَ بِهِ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ فَمَنْ لَمْ يَجِدْ فَصِيَامُ شَهْرَيْنِ مُتَتَابِعَيْنِ مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ يَتَمَاسَّا فَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَإِطْعَامُ سِتِّينَ مِسْكِينًاTherefore, what is obligatory for the questioner, based on what he mentioned, is to perform the expiation for zihar before he touches his wife. This is either by freeing a slave if he is able to do so. If he is not able, then he must fast for two consecutive months if he cannot find a slave to free. If he is not able to fast due to a chronic illness or other excuses that prevent him from fasting, then he moves to feeding, feeding sixty poor people, each poor person receiving half a sa' of wheat or other food. But let him know that these three matters are in order. It is not permissible for him to move from freeing a slave unless he is unable to do so, and it is not permissible for him to move from fasting unless he is unable to do so. And this is a trust upon his conscience, so it is not permissible for him to touch his wife until he performs this expiation that Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, mentioned. Also, it is obligatory for the Muslim to guard his tongue from the words of zihar and the words of divorce, and other such things;Because this, as Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, said:
an objectionable statement and a falsehood
مُنْكَرًا مِنَ الْقَوْلِ وَزُورًاand he utters it, then Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, has made the expiation obligatory upon him in the order we mentioned. And even if he intended by it a divorce, this is explicit in zihar, and the explicit in zihar does not become a divorce, but rather it becomes zihar.
Question: And is there a difference in this between the state of anger and the state of calm?
Answer: There is no difference in that.