The Right of the One Who Lowers the Woman into the Grave
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Your Eminence! I heard that it is not permissible for the one who had intercourse with a woman that night to lower her into the grave. Is this specific to the daughters of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), or does it apply to the general public?
The scholars, as far as I know, none of them said: It is forbidden for the one who had intercourse with a woman that night to lower her into her grave.But they said: The one who has not had intercourse is more preferred, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said while burying one of his daughters: "Which of you has not had intercourse tonight?So Abu Talhah said: I will lower her." The scholars differ regarding his statement: "has not had intercourse" whether its meaning is: has not committed a sin,Meaning: they did not agree that the intended meaning is intercourse. So if a person lowers a woman into her grave and he knows how to perform the burial, even if he had intercourse that night, there is no harm and no blame. However, it is better that the person who lowers her into the grave has not had intercourse that night.
Then, it is not appropriate for us to claim that a ruling is specific to a certain person without evidence.We cannot say: That this is a specific attribute of the daughters of the Prophet, unless there is evidence.Nor can we say: That this is a specific attribute of the Prophet, unless there is evidence.
And the evidence for this is: When Allah the Exalted intended to make a ruling specific to His Prophet (may the prayer and peace of Allah be upon him),He said: [Al-Ahzab: 50] , and when He permitted him to marry Zaynab bint Jahsh, who was the wife of his adopted son, who was Zayd ibn Harithah, Allah the Exalted said after permitting her: [Al-Ahzab: 37] This verse indicates that what is established for the Prophet is established for others of the Ummah unless there is evidenceSo do not rush matters in your saying: that this is specific to such and such. There is nothing that has specificity unless there is evidence.
And on this occasion, I would like to say: Some people think that only her mahrams (relatives one may not marry) can lower a woman into her grave. This is incorrect. The one who lowers her is the one who is most knowledgeable about the method of burial, whether he is one of her mahrams or not.
The scholars, as far as I know, none of them said: It is forbidden for the one who had intercourse with a woman that night to lower her into her grave.But they said: The one who has not had intercourse is more preferred, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said while burying one of his daughters: "Which of you has not had intercourse tonight?So Abu Talhah said: I will lower her." The scholars differ regarding his statement: "has not had intercourse" whether its meaning is: has not committed a sin,Meaning: they did not agree that the intended meaning is intercourse. So if a person lowers a woman into her grave and he knows how to perform the burial, even if he had intercourse that night, there is no harm and no blame. However, it is better that the person who lowers her into the grave has not had intercourse that night.
Then, it is not appropriate for us to claim that a ruling is specific to a certain person without evidence.We cannot say: That this is a specific attribute of the daughters of the Prophet, unless there is evidence.Nor can we say: That this is a specific attribute of the Prophet, unless there is evidence.
And the evidence for this is: When Allah the Exalted intended to make a ruling specific to His Prophet (may the prayer and peace of Allah be upon him),He said:
[this is] only for you, excluding the [other] believers
خَالِصَةً لَكَ مِنْ دُونِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَin order that there not be upon the believers any discomfort concerning the wives of their adopted sons
لِكَيْ لا يَكُونَ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ حَرَجٌ فِي أَزْوَاجِ أَدْعِيَائِهِمْAnd on this occasion, I would like to say: Some people think that only her mahrams (relatives one may not marry) can lower a woman into her grave. This is incorrect. The one who lowers her is the one who is most knowledgeable about the method of burial, whether he is one of her mahrams or not.