It is said that a woman is not buried by anyone who had intercourse that night; what is the validity of this, or is it specific to the daughters of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)?
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The questioner : Noble Shaykh, I heard that it is not permissible for a woman's funeral to be lowered into the grave by a man who had intercourse with his wife that night. Is this specific to the daughters of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), or does it apply to the general public?
The Shaykh : As far as I know, none of the scholars has said: It is forbidden for a man who did not have intercourse that night to lower a woman into her grave. I mean, I do not know of any scholar who said: It is forbidden for a man who had intercourse that night to lower a woman into her grave. But they said: One who has not had intercourse is more preferable.
Because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said while burying one of his daughters:Sahih al-Bukhari 1285 However, the scholars differ regarding his statement: Do they mean he did not commit a sin? That is, they did not agree that the intended meaning is intercourse.
So if a person lowers a woman into her grave and he knows how to perform the burial, even if he had intercourse that night, there is no harm and no blame. But it is more preferable that the person who lowers her into the grave is one who did not have intercourse that night.
Also, it is not befitting for us to claim that a ruling is specific to a certain person without evidence. That is, we cannot say: This is a characteristic of the daughters of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) without evidence. Nor can we say: This is a characteristic of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) without evidence. The evidence for this is that when Allah the Exalted wanted to make a ruling specific to His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), He said:[Al-Ahzab 33:50].
And when He permitted him to marry Zaynab bint Jahsh, who was the wife of his adopted son, Zayd ibn Harithah, Allah the Exalted said after permitting her to His Messenger:[Al-Ahzab 33:37] This verse indicates that what is established for the Messenger is established for whom? For whom? It is established for others of the Ummah unless there is evidence. So do not rush in matters by saying this is specific to such-and-such. There is nothing specific unless there is evidence.
The Shaykh : As far as I know, none of the scholars has said: It is forbidden for a man who did not have intercourse that night to lower a woman into her grave. I mean, I do not know of any scholar who said: It is forbidden for a man who had intercourse that night to lower a woman into her grave. But they said: One who has not had intercourse is more preferable.
Because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said while burying one of his daughters:
Is there anyone among you who did not have sexual relations with his wife last night?" Abu Talha replied in the affirmative. And so the Prophet told him to get down in the grave. And so he got down
أيكم لم يقارف الليلة ؟ فقال أبو طلحة : أنا فنزلDid not have intercourse
لم يقارفSo if a person lowers a woman into her grave and he knows how to perform the burial, even if he had intercourse that night, there is no harm and no blame. But it is more preferable that the person who lowers her into the grave is one who did not have intercourse that night.
Also, it is not befitting for us to claim that a ruling is specific to a certain person without evidence. That is, we cannot say: This is a characteristic of the daughters of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) without evidence. Nor can we say: This is a characteristic of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) without evidence. The evidence for this is that when Allah the Exalted wanted to make a ruling specific to His Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), He said:
[this is] only for you, excluding the [other] believers
خَالِصَةً لَكَ مِنْ دُونِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَAnd when He permitted him to marry Zaynab bint Jahsh, who was the wife of his adopted son, Zayd ibn Harithah, Allah the Exalted said after permitting her to His Messenger: