The Importance of Justice Among Children in Gifts
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As for the father, sometimes he gives some of his sons money for their need, and this is a point that the other sons may accept, but perhaps reluctantly.And he may give a gift like this, meaning: For example, the young one, he sees that he needs it more than the others because he is young, as the others have some money and he has nothing. Many of us are hesitant about these matters, and injustice may occur in them. But this happens: preferring one child over another for his need or otherwise. What is your ruling on that?
The obligatory thing in giving to children is that it be with justice, due to the hadith of Bashir ibn Sa'd when he gave his son Nu'man ibn Bashir and did not give the rest of his children.So the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said: (Fear Allah and be just among your children) And justice among children is: that he gives each of them what he needs.For example: This son is a student who needs books and needs a fee for the teacher, so we give him, even if we do not give his brothers, because his brothers do not need it. This son needs to be married and he has no money, so his father marries him; it is not required that he give his brothers what he gave him for the marriage. It is required of him, when his brothers reach the age of marriage, to marry them if he has something. Have you not seen that a man may have a son and a daughter; the son needs a scarf and a cap, and the daughter needs a necklace, a bracelet, and rings. He gives the son the value of the scarf and cap, and the daughter the value of the necklace, bracelet, and rings. Which is more? The second is more, but because she needs it.
And for this reason, it is a grave error and blatant ignorance: That some people, when they marry their older children who cannot afford to marry themselves, and they have young children, bequeath to their young children the amount they gave the older ones for marriage. This is a mistake. Even if he dies, the bequest is not executed. What he bequeathed to the young ones enters the estate and is divided according to the shares prescribed by Allah.
Well, what do you say: In the case where he has two sons and each of them needs a car, so he gives one the most expensive car and the other the mid-range one. Is that permissible or not?The questioner: It is permissible.If this one needs a large car, the Shaykh: No, they are all studying in the same school.
The questioner: This is not permissible if they are equal.
The Shaykh: If he says: I am giving this one what will take him to school and bring him back in a car.We say: It is not permissible, because the car differs; this one is, for example, sixty thousand and this one is forty thousand. Likewise, if he dresses one of the children in fine clothes and the other in less, he has not been just.It is not said: I gave them what covers the awrah.We say: No, this is not permissible. It must be that they are equal or close; because equalizing in every aspect may be difficult, but close.
Well: If he gives the young boy candy because he was crying, so he gives him candy to quiet him. We say: Did he give the older one candy?The questioner: No, give him.
The Shaykh: Do not give him, even if you give him, it will be a loss for you, because this one is usually satisfied with it.
The questioner: As for the car—O Shaykh—sometimes the brother or the two brothers need a car for long trips, for example, unlike the second one.
The Shaykh: It does not harm.In any case: If he gives each one what he needs, there is no harm.
The obligatory thing in giving to children is that it be with justice, due to the hadith of Bashir ibn Sa'd when he gave his son Nu'man ibn Bashir and did not give the rest of his children.So the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said: (Fear Allah and be just among your children) And justice among children is: that he gives each of them what he needs.For example: This son is a student who needs books and needs a fee for the teacher, so we give him, even if we do not give his brothers, because his brothers do not need it. This son needs to be married and he has no money, so his father marries him; it is not required that he give his brothers what he gave him for the marriage. It is required of him, when his brothers reach the age of marriage, to marry them if he has something. Have you not seen that a man may have a son and a daughter; the son needs a scarf and a cap, and the daughter needs a necklace, a bracelet, and rings. He gives the son the value of the scarf and cap, and the daughter the value of the necklace, bracelet, and rings. Which is more? The second is more, but because she needs it.
And for this reason, it is a grave error and blatant ignorance: That some people, when they marry their older children who cannot afford to marry themselves, and they have young children, bequeath to their young children the amount they gave the older ones for marriage. This is a mistake. Even if he dies, the bequest is not executed. What he bequeathed to the young ones enters the estate and is divided according to the shares prescribed by Allah.
Well, what do you say: In the case where he has two sons and each of them needs a car, so he gives one the most expensive car and the other the mid-range one. Is that permissible or not?The questioner: It is permissible.If this one needs a large car, the Shaykh: No, they are all studying in the same school.
The questioner: This is not permissible if they are equal.
The Shaykh: If he says: I am giving this one what will take him to school and bring him back in a car.We say: It is not permissible, because the car differs; this one is, for example, sixty thousand and this one is forty thousand. Likewise, if he dresses one of the children in fine clothes and the other in less, he has not been just.It is not said: I gave them what covers the awrah.We say: No, this is not permissible. It must be that they are equal or close; because equalizing in every aspect may be difficult, but close.
Well: If he gives the young boy candy because he was crying, so he gives him candy to quiet him. We say: Did he give the older one candy?The questioner: No, give him.
The Shaykh: Do not give him, even if you give him, it will be a loss for you, because this one is usually satisfied with it.
The questioner: As for the car—O Shaykh—sometimes the brother or the two brothers need a car for long trips, for example, unlike the second one.
The Shaykh: It does not harm.In any case: If he gives each one what he needs, there is no harm.