The Ruling on Sitting for Condolences and the Ruling on Sitting in Them
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Is sitting for condolences forbidden? And if I did not go to a person who is sitting for condolences, he might be upset, so should I go to him? Also, if one of my parents orders me to go to those gathered for condolences, should I go?
Sitting for condolences: many scholars have explicitly stated that it is a religious innovation (bid'ah), and some scholars, such as the followers of Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him), have explicitly stated that it is disliked (makruh); because it was not known in the time of the Companions, and because it indicates a type of distress and dissatisfaction.As if this is saying to the people: O people! I am afflicted, so offer me your condolences.
And the duty of a person upon affliction is to be patient and to seek reward from Allah, and to know that to Allah belongs what He has taken and to Him belongs what He has left, and that everything with Him is by a specified term, and that a person cannot exceed what has been determined for him, and he should close his door.
As for going to them, if they are relatives who consider not coming to them as severing family ties, then go to them, offer your condolences, and leave without sitting.
And as for if his father orders him, if they are relatives, then as I said, he goes, whether his father ordered him or not.And if they are not relatives, he should convince his father and say: O my father! They have no right over you, even if they are friends. If you see them in the market or in the mosque, offer them your condolences, but if you do not see them, it is not obligatory.
The questioner: Is this permissible?The Shaykh: It is permissible for relatives, but even so, he does not sit and he advises them, saying: Close the door, for this is not good. If it were good, we would have preceded you to it.Meaning: The Companions and the Successors preceded us to it.
Sitting for condolences: many scholars have explicitly stated that it is a religious innovation (bid'ah), and some scholars, such as the followers of Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him), have explicitly stated that it is disliked (makruh); because it was not known in the time of the Companions, and because it indicates a type of distress and dissatisfaction.As if this is saying to the people: O people! I am afflicted, so offer me your condolences.
And the duty of a person upon affliction is to be patient and to seek reward from Allah, and to know that to Allah belongs what He has taken and to Him belongs what He has left, and that everything with Him is by a specified term, and that a person cannot exceed what has been determined for him, and he should close his door.
As for going to them, if they are relatives who consider not coming to them as severing family ties, then go to them, offer your condolences, and leave without sitting.
And as for if his father orders him, if they are relatives, then as I said, he goes, whether his father ordered him or not.And if they are not relatives, he should convince his father and say: O my father! They have no right over you, even if they are friends. If you see them in the market or in the mosque, offer them your condolences, but if you do not see them, it is not obligatory.
The questioner: Is this permissible?The Shaykh: It is permissible for relatives, but even so, he does not sit and he advises them, saying: Close the door, for this is not good. If it were good, we would have preceded you to it.Meaning: The Companions and the Successors preceded us to it.