What is the ruling on people gathering for condolences?
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The questioner : What is the ruling on people gathering for condolences?
The Shaykh : People gathering for condolences is a religious innovation (bid'ah); it was not the custom of the Salaf. If preparing food and holding feasts is added to this gathering, then this is part of wailing (niyaha), just as the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) considered gathering at the deceased's home and preparing food to be wailing. Wailing is well known,Sahih al-Bukhari 5936. So what does this gathering accomplish?!
It does not benefit the deceased, nor does it benefit the living. In fact, the living may increase in sorrow and anxiety when some of them gather with others, especially the women, who begin to cry and wail. So there is no good in it, but rather harm. Therefore, it is incumbent upon students of knowledge to forbid this, and it should be said: "Praise be to Allah," and the door should be closed. Whoever wishes to offer condolences will find the man in the mosque or in the market.
Also, for whom is the condolence?
Condolence is for the one who has been struck by a calamity, not for the one who has lost a relative. A person may lose someone and not be concerned about it. But if we see a man who is grieved, anxious, and affected by the calamity, we sit with him and say: "O so-and-so, be patient and accept the decree. To Allah belongs what He has taken and what He has left, and everything is with Him for a specified term."
The Shaykh : People gathering for condolences is a religious innovation (bid'ah); it was not the custom of the Salaf. If preparing food and holding feasts is added to this gathering, then this is part of wailing (niyaha), just as the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) considered gathering at the deceased's home and preparing food to be wailing. Wailing is well known,
Narrated Asma': (the daughter of Abu Bakr) Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) has cursed such a lady as artificially lengthening (her or someone else's) hair or gets her hair lengthened.
لعن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم النائحة والمستمعةIt does not benefit the deceased, nor does it benefit the living. In fact, the living may increase in sorrow and anxiety when some of them gather with others, especially the women, who begin to cry and wail. So there is no good in it, but rather harm. Therefore, it is incumbent upon students of knowledge to forbid this, and it should be said: "Praise be to Allah," and the door should be closed. Whoever wishes to offer condolences will find the man in the mosque or in the market.
Also, for whom is the condolence?
Condolence is for the one who has been struck by a calamity, not for the one who has lost a relative. A person may lose someone and not be concerned about it. But if we see a man who is grieved, anxious, and affected by the calamity, we sit with him and say: "O so-and-so, be patient and accept the decree. To Allah belongs what He has taken and what He has left, and everything is with Him for a specified term."