The ruling on sitting in the deceased's family's home for condolences and giving them money
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His Eminence the Shaykh: Among our customs is that people sit for three days for condolences, and at the same time, each person gives the deceased's family a sum of money. Is it permissible for a person to participate in giving the money without sitting with them for the condolences?
Sitting for condolences is not from the Sunnah; rather, the scholars have explicitly stated that it is a religious innovation (bid'ah). In reality, it may also indicate dissatisfaction with the divine decree and destiny of Allah. Because these people who sit and open the door are as if saying with their actions: "O people! We have been afflicted, so come to us with condolences." This is not at all the custom of the Salaf (the earliest generations). In fact, they considered gathering at the deceased's home and preparing food to be part of wailing. Therefore, it is obligatory for students of knowledge to clarify to people that this is not permissible. Perhaps other things are also associated with this gathering, such as leaving off the prayer in congregation and the like.
When he says: How do I offer condolences?We say first: Condolences are not prescribed merely upon death. It is prescribed for the one who has been afflicted if a person is afflicted by the death of a relative or friend. In that case, it is prescribed to offer him condolences, but without the person going to the house. However, it is possible to meet him in the market, in the mosque, or the like.
The questioner: Giving money?The Shaykh: Giving money is not permissible; because it is paid from the estate. The estate may include young people who cannot take anything from the money. But if it is from someone other than the heirs and a person volunteers it, we say: that it is a voluntary contribution to assist in a religious innovation (bid'ah). And whoever assists in a religious innovation (bid'ah) becomes like the innovators who sin with their innovation.
Sitting for condolences is not from the Sunnah; rather, the scholars have explicitly stated that it is a religious innovation (bid'ah). In reality, it may also indicate dissatisfaction with the divine decree and destiny of Allah. Because these people who sit and open the door are as if saying with their actions: "O people! We have been afflicted, so come to us with condolences." This is not at all the custom of the Salaf (the earliest generations). In fact, they considered gathering at the deceased's home and preparing food to be part of wailing. Therefore, it is obligatory for students of knowledge to clarify to people that this is not permissible. Perhaps other things are also associated with this gathering, such as leaving off the prayer in congregation and the like.
When he says: How do I offer condolences?We say first: Condolences are not prescribed merely upon death. It is prescribed for the one who has been afflicted if a person is afflicted by the death of a relative or friend. In that case, it is prescribed to offer him condolences, but without the person going to the house. However, it is possible to meet him in the market, in the mosque, or the like.
The questioner: Giving money?The Shaykh: Giving money is not permissible; because it is paid from the estate. The estate may include young people who cannot take anything from the money. But if it is from someone other than the heirs and a person volunteers it, we say: that it is a voluntary contribution to assist in a religious innovation (bid'ah). And whoever assists in a religious innovation (bid'ah) becomes like the innovators who sin with their innovation.