What is the ruling on sitting for three days for condolences, while at the same time each individual pays money to the family of the deceased?
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The questioner : May Allah preserve you, O Shaykh. We have a custom where people sit for three days for condolences, and at the same time, each individual pays a sum of money to the family of the deceased. Is it permissible for a person to participate by paying the money without sitting with them for the condolences?
The Shaykh : Sitting for condolences is not from the Sunnah; rather, the scholars have explicitly stated that it is a religious innovation (bid'ah). In reality, it may also indicate dissatisfaction with the divine decree and destiny of Allah, because those who sit and open the door are as if saying, by their actions, "O people, we have been afflicted, so come to us with condolences." This is not at all the custom of the Salaf. In fact, they considered gathering at the home of the deceased and preparing food to be part of wailing (niyahah).
Therefore, it is obligatory for students of knowledge to clarify to people that this is not permissible. Perhaps other matters are also associated with this gathering, such as leaving the prayer in congregation and the like.
If he asks, "How do I offer condolences?" we say: First, condolences are not prescribed merely upon death. They are prescribed for the one who has been afflicted. If a person is afflicted by the death of a relative or the death of a friend, then it is prescribed to offer him condolences, but without the person going to the house. Rather, he may meet him in the market, in the mosque, or the like.
The questioner : Paying money?
The Shaykh : Paying money? It is not permissible to pay from the estate, because the estate may include minors who cannot take anything from their money. However, if it is from someone other than the heirs and a person volunteers it, we say that it is a voluntary contribution to assist in a religious innovation (bid'ah). And whoever assists in a religious innovation becomes part of the group of innovators who sin with their innovation.
The Shaykh : Sitting for condolences is not from the Sunnah; rather, the scholars have explicitly stated that it is a religious innovation (bid'ah). In reality, it may also indicate dissatisfaction with the divine decree and destiny of Allah, because those who sit and open the door are as if saying, by their actions, "O people, we have been afflicted, so come to us with condolences." This is not at all the custom of the Salaf. In fact, they considered gathering at the home of the deceased and preparing food to be part of wailing (niyahah).
Therefore, it is obligatory for students of knowledge to clarify to people that this is not permissible. Perhaps other matters are also associated with this gathering, such as leaving the prayer in congregation and the like.
If he asks, "How do I offer condolences?" we say: First, condolences are not prescribed merely upon death. They are prescribed for the one who has been afflicted. If a person is afflicted by the death of a relative or the death of a friend, then it is prescribed to offer him condolences, but without the person going to the house. Rather, he may meet him in the market, in the mosque, or the like.
The questioner : Paying money?
The Shaykh : Paying money? It is not permissible to pay from the estate, because the estate may include minors who cannot take anything from their money. However, if it is from someone other than the heirs and a person volunteers it, we say that it is a voluntary contribution to assist in a religious innovation (bid'ah). And whoever assists in a religious innovation becomes part of the group of innovators who sin with their innovation.