How to repent from a non-financial sin, such as honor or backbiting.
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The Shaykh : But if the sin is a right other than a financial one, such as honor, for example, a man you used to backbite about among people, what is the repentance from it?
You must seek his forgiveness, meaning you go to him and apologize for what you said about him and the right you violated. If you say, "I am afraid that if I go to him to seek his forgiveness, his arrogance in sin will take over and he will say, 'No, I do not forgive you,'" we say: You must go. You must go to him and seek his forgiveness. If he says, "This time, go back to him a second time." If he says, "I will not forgive you unless you give me such and such amount of money," do you give it to him or not? Yes, you give it to him, because the right is his right. If he says, "I will not forgive you except with this money," then give it to him; otherwise, on the Day of Resurrection, he will take from your good deeds. Is backbiting of this type, meaning if you backbited a person, the repentance from backbiting is not valid until you seek his forgiveness? Yes, until you seek his forgiveness, except that some scholars said: If the person you backbited did not know about the backbiting, then the repentance from backbiting is that you seek forgiveness for him and that you praise him with desirable attributes in the gatherings where you used to backbite him. Listen, I say: Some scholars say that if the person you backbited did not know about it, then getting rid of it is by your seeking forgiveness for him. This is one thing. The other thing is that you praise him in the place where you used to backbite him, but do not praise him with attributes he does not have, but with the attributes he does have.
You must seek his forgiveness, meaning you go to him and apologize for what you said about him and the right you violated. If you say, "I am afraid that if I go to him to seek his forgiveness, his arrogance in sin will take over and he will say, 'No, I do not forgive you,'" we say: You must go. You must go to him and seek his forgiveness. If he says, "This time, go back to him a second time." If he says, "I will not forgive you unless you give me such and such amount of money," do you give it to him or not? Yes, you give it to him, because the right is his right. If he says, "I will not forgive you except with this money," then give it to him; otherwise, on the Day of Resurrection, he will take from your good deeds. Is backbiting of this type, meaning if you backbited a person, the repentance from backbiting is not valid until you seek his forgiveness? Yes, until you seek his forgiveness, except that some scholars said: If the person you backbited did not know about the backbiting, then the repentance from backbiting is that you seek forgiveness for him and that you praise him with desirable attributes in the gatherings where you used to backbite him. Listen, I say: Some scholars say that if the person you backbited did not know about it, then getting rid of it is by your seeking forgiveness for him. This is one thing. The other thing is that you praise him in the place where you used to backbite him, but do not praise him with attributes he does not have, but with the attributes he does have.
