His second question asks: What is the difference between backbiting and slander, what is the ruling on them, and what should one do if he intends to repent from them?
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The questioner : His second question asks: What is the difference between backbiting and slander, what is the ruling on them, and what should one do if he intends to repent from them?
The Shaykh : Backbiting was defined by the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) in his saying:Sunan Abi Dawud 4874Sahih (Al-Albani).
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Among the defects, whether physical or moral, that he possesses; this is backbiting.
The questioner : In his absence.
The Shaykh : To mention your brother with what he dislikes in his absence; for this reason it is called backbiting. But if you mention him with what he dislikes in his presence, it is called cursing and reviling. This applies if the person mentioned actually possesses what you said about him. If he does not possess it, then it is slander, meaning lying. For this reason, it was said to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him): "What do you say if my brother has what I am saying about him?" He said:Sunan Abi Dawud 4874Sahih (Al-Albani) So the difference between backbiting and slander is that in backbiting, the person about whom the backbiting occurs actually possesses what was mentioned about him.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : As for slander, it is when the person does not possess what is attributed to him, but he is slandered and lied about. So it is a combination of backbiting and slander. Yes.
The questioner : Yes, what does one do who wants to repent from them?
The Shaykh : As for one who wants to repent from them, he seeks forgiveness for his brother whom he backbit.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And he should speak well of him with what he deserves in the places where he backbit him, because good deeds erase bad deeds. Is it obligatory for him to seek his forgiveness by going to him and telling him what he did regarding his rights, or not?
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Some scholars said: It is obligatory for him to go to him and seek his forgiveness, because it is feared that he may learn about it later.
The questioner : Meaning he asks for his pardon.
The Shaykh : Yes, he asks for his pardon. And some scholars said: If his brother has already learned of the backbiting, it is obligatory for him to go to him and seek his forgiveness, meaning ask for his pardon. But if he has not learned of it, it is better not to tell him, because if he told him, he might take it to heart and not forgive him, and enmity and hatred would arise between them, making him the cause of stirring up this enmity and hatred. This is the stronger opinion: that he should not tell him, but rather seek forgiveness for him and speak well of him with what he deserves in the gatherings where he backbit him. Unless he fears that the brother will learn of it, or similar matters that require seeking pardon, in which case he must seek his pardon.
The questioner : Yes, may Allah reward you with good.
The questioner : This is a question from a listener, S.S.K., an Egyptian residing in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.
The Shaykh : Backbiting was defined by the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) in his saying:
It is saying something about your brother which he would dislike
ذكرك أخاك بما يكرهThe questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Among the defects, whether physical or moral, that he possesses; this is backbiting.
The questioner : In his absence.
The Shaykh : To mention your brother with what he dislikes in his absence; for this reason it is called backbiting. But if you mention him with what he dislikes in his presence, it is called cursing and reviling. This applies if the person mentioned actually possesses what you said about him. If he does not possess it, then it is slander, meaning lying. For this reason, it was said to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him): "What do you say if my brother has what I am saying about him?" He said:
If what you say of him is true, you have slandered him, and if what you say of him is not true, you have reviled him.
إن كان فيه ما تقول فقد اغتبته، وإن لم يكن فيه ما تقول فقد بهتهThe questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : As for slander, it is when the person does not possess what is attributed to him, but he is slandered and lied about. So it is a combination of backbiting and slander. Yes.
The questioner : Yes, what does one do who wants to repent from them?
The Shaykh : As for one who wants to repent from them, he seeks forgiveness for his brother whom he backbit.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And he should speak well of him with what he deserves in the places where he backbit him, because good deeds erase bad deeds. Is it obligatory for him to seek his forgiveness by going to him and telling him what he did regarding his rights, or not?
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Some scholars said: It is obligatory for him to go to him and seek his forgiveness, because it is feared that he may learn about it later.
The questioner : Meaning he asks for his pardon.
The Shaykh : Yes, he asks for his pardon. And some scholars said: If his brother has already learned of the backbiting, it is obligatory for him to go to him and seek his forgiveness, meaning ask for his pardon. But if he has not learned of it, it is better not to tell him, because if he told him, he might take it to heart and not forgive him, and enmity and hatred would arise between them, making him the cause of stirring up this enmity and hatred. This is the stronger opinion: that he should not tell him, but rather seek forgiveness for him and speak well of him with what he deserves in the gatherings where he backbit him. Unless he fears that the brother will learn of it, or similar matters that require seeking pardon, in which case he must seek his pardon.
The questioner : Yes, may Allah reward you with good.
The questioner : This is a question from a listener, S.S.K., an Egyptian residing in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.