A woman who is intensely jealous of her husband, leading to conflict between them; what is your guidance for her?

The questioner : The questioner says: There is often conflict between me and my husband, and this is due to my jealousy of him. I am jealous of him and I watch his looks. If I notice any look from him or suspect one, I become jealous of him. He always argues with me that the jealousy loved by Allah is jealousy regarding the prohibitions of Allah, whereas the jealousy that comes from me leads to divorce. I was not convinced by his words because I believe it is my right to be jealous of him even if he does not intend anything. I know that he is committed to his religion and I do not doubt him. Guide me with what you see fit, and may Allah grant you success.

The Shaykh : I advise this questioner to reduce her jealousy. Otherwise, jealousy is part of a woman's nature; she is jealous of her husband, and this is evidence of her love for him. But I say: if jealousy increases, it becomes anger, not jealousy, and then the woman tires herself severely. Therefore, I advise this woman to reduce her jealousy. I also advise the man to praise Allah the Mighty and Majestic for having prepared for him a righteous woman who loves him, because this, I mean the mutual love between the spouses, is what makes life between them happy. Otherwise, jealousy is a natural matter that is necessary. One of the Mothers of the Believers sent food to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) in a vessel, while he was in the house of one of his wives. When the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) entered with the food and the vessel, rejoicing in it, to whom was he going to give it? Answer: to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), but from another woman. This woman, whose house he was in, became jealous and struck the hand of the Messenger, and the vessel fell, broke, and the food was scattered. But the Messenger did not rebuke her; rather, he said: or words to that effect. He took the food and the vessel, and he took the food and vessel of the woman whose house he was in, and said: and sent it with the Messenger. Because if the Messenger returned and said: this woman did such and such, the one who sent it would be upset. So if the vessel of her co-wife and the food of her co-wife came to her, what would happen? It would cool down, and this is from the wisdom of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). The important thing is that jealousy among women is a necessary matter, and I see that it is a blessing of Allah upon the husband that the woman loves him to this extent. But I say to the woman: reduce the jealousy so that you do not make life difficult for yourself and tire yourself. And I say to the man: praise your Lord for this blessing, and let it not increase except desire for your family and love for them. As for the matter of divorce, do not mention it to the woman at all. If a man mentions divorce to his woman, this becomes a specter before her eyes, whether she is sleeping or awake, and this is a mistake. For this reason, it is foolishness for some people to mention the word divorce to their woman, even if it is for the sake of threatening her. Talk to her in other ways; if you threaten her with divorce, Satan will always work in her heart regarding this divorce until it leads to separation, and may Allah protect us from that. Yes.