What is the meaning of the hadith: “Love your beloved gently…”?

The questioner : In a hadith in Sahih al-Jami' , what is the jurisprudence of this hadith?

The Shaykh : The jurisprudence of this hadith is that a person must be moderate in everything. And the best of matters are the moderate ones. Excessive love is a mistake. One should be moderate in love and in hatred. It is not befitting for a Muslim to be excessive in his love, lest it turn into its opposite one day. And the same applies to the opposite: his hatred should not be intense, because it is possible that this hated person will become a beloved one day. So the foundation and the goal of this hadith are very clear: moderation in good and in evil, in good and in evil. The greatest proof of that is his saying (peace be upon him) in the story of the group of men who came to the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and asked them about his worship, his standing in prayer at night, his fasting, and his visiting his wives. They informed them of what they knew of that moderation: that the Messenger (peace be upon him) stands in prayer at night and sleeps, fasts and breaks his fast, and marries women. As for those men, they went to extremes. They made a pact among themselves: one said, “I will fast forever and not break my fast,” another said, “I will stand in prayer at night and not sleep,” and another said, “I will live as a monk,” and there is no monasticism in Islam, so he said, “I will not marry women.” The story is well known. The point is that the Messenger (peace be upon him) said to them: This is moderation in worship. Love for the sake of Allah is worship, and hatred for the sake of Allah is worship, but it is not permissible to exaggerate in that, lest the matter turn into its opposite. And whoever exceeds the limit of a thing reaches its opposite. And there is no doubt that this is it.