A hadith in Sahih al-Jami': Love your beloved gently, for he may one day become your enemy, and hate your enemy gently, for he may one day become your beloved.

The questioner : ... A hadith in Sahih al-Jami' What is the understanding (fiqh) of this hadith?

The Shaykh : The understanding (fiqh) of this hadith is that a person must be moderate in everything. And the best of matters are the moderate ones. Exaggeration in love is wrong. One should be moderate in love and in hatred. It is not befitting for a Muslim to exaggerate in his love, lest it turn into its opposite one day. And the same applies to hatred; one should not be extreme in his hatred, as there is a possibility that this person he hates may one day become his beloved. The essence and goal of this hadith are very clear: moderation in good and in evil, in good and in evil. The greatest proof of this is his saying (peace be upon him) regarding the story of the group of men who came to the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and asked them about his worship, his standing in night prayer, his fasting, and his relations with his wives. They informed them of what they knew of that moderation: that the Messenger (peace be upon him) would stand in night prayer and sleep, fast and break his fast, and marry women. As for those men, they exaggerated. They made a pact among themselves: one said, "I will stand in prayer forever, I will stand and fast forever and not break my fast." Another said, "I will stand in night prayer and not sleep." Another said, "I will live as a monk, and there is no monasticism in Islam," and he said, "I will not marry women." Is the story known? The point is that the Messenger (peace be upon him) said to them: This is moderation in worship. Love for the sake of Allah is worship, and hatred for the sake of Allah is worship, but exaggeration in that is not permissible, lest the matter turn into its opposite. And without doubt, whoever exceeds the limit of a thing reaches its opposite.