Is divorce pronounced in a state of anger effective?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : My Shaykh, I am speaking to you from Canada. My name is Abdul-Razzaq Al-Yusuf.
The Shaykh : Welcome.
The questioner : My Shaykh, I have a problem that occurred in my home, and I want your opinion on it.
The Shaykh : What is it?
The questioner : The truth is, I got married two years ago, and one day a misunderstanding occurred between me and my wife, so I uttered the word of divorce, though I did not intend to divorce her. I inquired about this situation here from some of the brothers, and they said it counts as a divorce, even if it is an innovated divorce and not a divorce according to the Sunnah, my Shaykh.
The Shaykh : I am listening, my brother, so finish your question.
The questioner : Yes. After a period of time, problems arose between me and my wife again, and I told her, "If any problem occurs between you and me, you are divorced." I did not intend divorce again; rather, I intended to threaten her. After a while, a problem occurred, and we counted it as the second divorce. And yesterday exactly, a big problem occurred between us again, and after that, I threatened her with divorce. I told her, "This is the third time," and she did not stop... and she continued to provoke me until finally, I do not know what I uttered. I may have said to her, "You are divorced," or I may have said to her, "You are on the verge of divorce." I do not know exactly what the wording was in the third instance. I have finished, my Shaykh. Do these count as three divorces, or what should I do?
The Shaykh : What I understood from you is that the first and second divorces were counted against you, and you also counted them as such?
The questioner : I counted the second one myself, yes.
The Shaykh : And the first one? Do not repeat your words. I am asking you now: was the first one counted against you or not?
The questioner : I do not know, my Shaykh.
The Shaykh : How do you not know? Two years have passed since you lived with this wife. You divorced her the first time and do not know whether it was counted against you or not, and you counted the second one. How is this life you are living?
The questioner : I have no answer.
The Shaykh : Yes, ask someone else about this problem. May Allah reward you. You are living in a problem bigger than this. Is your wife Muslim or a Canadian Christian?
The questioner : Muslim.
The Shaykh : Did you marry her in the lands of Islam?
The questioner : I married her here.
The Shaykh : Okay. When you divorced her the first time, how did you live with her while you did not know whether she was divorced or not?
The questioner : When I inquired about the matter, I did not intend divorce; I intended to threaten.
The Shaykh : May Allah guide you, my brother. Do not repeat your words. Answer the question. You intended, you did not intend, the important thing is that you sought a ruling. What was the ruling given?
The questioner : The ruling was that after taking her back, it was a divorce, and we took her back after that.
The Shaykh : May Allah guide you. So I tell you that the meaning of what you said before is that you have two divorces against you. Okay, you say the second one, but you do not know about the first. So I told you, how do you live while you do not know? Did you divorce her the first time or not? Then now you say it was counted against you and you took her back. So, by your admission, she is divorced from you twice. And now you ask if this third divorce is counted against you or not?
The questioner : I do not know what I uttered yesterday.
The Shaykh : And so I know.
The questioner : By Allah, I was in a state of intense anger, my Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Oh Shaykh, may Allah guide you. I know.
The questioner : No
The Shaykh : So you are asking me about something you do not know, so I am even less likely to know it. Consequently, I do not know whether you divorced her or not. I ask you to gather your thoughts, discuss with your wife, and write your question on a paper so that you are not confused in your question first. Then do not tell me "I do not know whether I divorced her or not," because your question to me at that time would be of no use, for I would say, "By Allah, if you do not know, then I am like you and do not know, even more so!" So gather your thoughts, write down what appears to you to have occurred from you on a paper, and then if you wish, ask me or ask someone else. Peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : Welcome.
The questioner : My Shaykh, I have a problem that occurred in my home, and I want your opinion on it.
The Shaykh : What is it?
The questioner : The truth is, I got married two years ago, and one day a misunderstanding occurred between me and my wife, so I uttered the word of divorce, though I did not intend to divorce her. I inquired about this situation here from some of the brothers, and they said it counts as a divorce, even if it is an innovated divorce and not a divorce according to the Sunnah, my Shaykh.
The Shaykh : I am listening, my brother, so finish your question.
The questioner : Yes. After a period of time, problems arose between me and my wife again, and I told her, "If any problem occurs between you and me, you are divorced." I did not intend divorce again; rather, I intended to threaten her. After a while, a problem occurred, and we counted it as the second divorce. And yesterday exactly, a big problem occurred between us again, and after that, I threatened her with divorce. I told her, "This is the third time," and she did not stop... and she continued to provoke me until finally, I do not know what I uttered. I may have said to her, "You are divorced," or I may have said to her, "You are on the verge of divorce." I do not know exactly what the wording was in the third instance. I have finished, my Shaykh. Do these count as three divorces, or what should I do?
The Shaykh : What I understood from you is that the first and second divorces were counted against you, and you also counted them as such?
The questioner : I counted the second one myself, yes.
The Shaykh : And the first one? Do not repeat your words. I am asking you now: was the first one counted against you or not?
The questioner : I do not know, my Shaykh.
The Shaykh : How do you not know? Two years have passed since you lived with this wife. You divorced her the first time and do not know whether it was counted against you or not, and you counted the second one. How is this life you are living?
The questioner : I have no answer.
The Shaykh : Yes, ask someone else about this problem. May Allah reward you. You are living in a problem bigger than this. Is your wife Muslim or a Canadian Christian?
The questioner : Muslim.
The Shaykh : Did you marry her in the lands of Islam?
The questioner : I married her here.
The Shaykh : Okay. When you divorced her the first time, how did you live with her while you did not know whether she was divorced or not?
The questioner : When I inquired about the matter, I did not intend divorce; I intended to threaten.
The Shaykh : May Allah guide you, my brother. Do not repeat your words. Answer the question. You intended, you did not intend, the important thing is that you sought a ruling. What was the ruling given?
The questioner : The ruling was that after taking her back, it was a divorce, and we took her back after that.
The Shaykh : May Allah guide you. So I tell you that the meaning of what you said before is that you have two divorces against you. Okay, you say the second one, but you do not know about the first. So I told you, how do you live while you do not know? Did you divorce her the first time or not? Then now you say it was counted against you and you took her back. So, by your admission, she is divorced from you twice. And now you ask if this third divorce is counted against you or not?
The questioner : I do not know what I uttered yesterday.
The Shaykh : And so I know.
The questioner : By Allah, I was in a state of intense anger, my Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Oh Shaykh, may Allah guide you. I know.
The questioner : No
The Shaykh : So you are asking me about something you do not know, so I am even less likely to know it. Consequently, I do not know whether you divorced her or not. I ask you to gather your thoughts, discuss with your wife, and write your question on a paper so that you are not confused in your question first. Then do not tell me "I do not know whether I divorced her or not," because your question to me at that time would be of no use, for I would say, "By Allah, if you do not know, then I am like you and do not know, even more so!" So gather your thoughts, write down what appears to you to have occurred from you on a paper, and then if you wish, ask me or ask someone else. Peace be upon you.
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.