My husband got angry at me and divorced me, so does his divorce take effect?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : I want to tell you my story, Shaykh. There is a story. My husband swore a triple divorce on me, and no one will take me back. Every scholar says it is ten [divorces]. How is it that I remain with him when he is so aggressive? Is a fatwa necessary?
The Shaykh : Is he religious?
The questioner : He is new to this, meaning he has only been praying for about three or four years.
The Shaykh : How old is he?
The questioner : He is in his sixties, 61 years old.
The Shaykh : May Allah be his helper. Well, can he ask me?
The questioner : I am not speaking with you on the basis that he thinks the divorce did not take effect because he was in a state of anger, and that is how it is, because he is always aggressive. Sometimes he swears a divorce saying, "If you do this thing, I will not do it."
The Shaykh : Yes, well, why did you let him get angry and swear the oath? Why?
The questioner : He swore on me to go sleep at my parents' house. He swore a divorce, "Do not go sleep at my father's house. My father is sick, I do not want to go and cause him pain." Anyway, why did I go and cause him pain? He swore a divorce on me unless I go sleep at my father's house, at my parents' house, for two days, and on Saturday I come. He does not speak, no one brings me. I came on my own. Then when my sister came to me and said to him, "This is not right, Abu 'Isam, you do not do this, you act like this. You have become big, you swear a divorce every hour and every second, you curse your father, is this how it is?" He started saying to her, "The divorce is on me, the divorce is on me, O Lina, no one will take you back unless you are divorced. You will not sit in my house, and I do not want you." I said to him, "I am sitting in my house, I am not leaving the house..." He wanted to throw me out.
The Shaykh : There is no power or strength except with Allah. Well, was there a previous divorce?
The questioner : How?
The Shaykh : Was there a previous divorce between you and him?
The questioner : No, no, before, but I mean, he was always getting irritated and angry, but they say it is a state of anger, so the divorce does not take effect.
The Shaykh : Well, what is the difference between this time and the previous times? What is the difference?
The questioner : Because sometimes he swears, and I do not let it mean the divorce takes effect. "Do not do this thing, I will not do it, this is not it, this is not it." And for a long time he has been swearing divorces, and they say it is not valid because he is not religious, because he is aggressive, because of that. But now that he became religious, we said it is not right for him to keep swearing divorces. They say we asked a scholar, and he said because he is in a state of anger, the divorce did not take effect. I told him I want to ask another scholar.
The Shaykh : Well, and you testify that he was angry.
The questioner : He was irritated, exactly, he was irritated. I said, "You cursed my father." He said to me, "Liar, you did not curse your father." I said to him, "No, I cursed you. You are praying, and I also did not say anything to you. May Allah forgive you." And he swore on me to sleep at my parents' house, and I slept there, and now I came, and the triple divorce is on me, that no one will take me back, and that you are divorced. And from this talk, twice, I asked her if the divorce takes effect.
The Shaykh : Yes, I am confused about the matter now. Is this the first time he swore on you to go to your father's house and you went?
The questioner : I went, yes.
The Shaykh : Well, that did not take effect.
The questioner : That one did not take effect.
The Shaykh : Well, and then you came back without his permission?
The questioner : No, I came back. He said, "Come back, I will not come to get you," so I came back.
The Shaykh : Well, you came back again, did he divorce you?
The questioner : How?
The Shaykh : Did he divorce you again when you came back?
The questioner : Yes, when I came back and my sister came to me and said to him, "This is not right, Abu 'Isam, why are you like this?" From this talk, he got irritated with the divorce, that you are divorced, and no one will take you back.
The Shaykh : Yes, well, there is no god but Allah. Is he now consistent in his prayer?
The questioner : He is, he prays...
The Shaykh : In any case, I want me.
The questioner : ... give it, give it ... wait, wait, stay on the line, Shaykh, stay on the line.
The Shaykh : Yes, okay.
The questioner : Stay on the line.
The questioner : Hello.
The Shaykh : Welcome.
The questioner : You are welcome.
The Shaykh : Peace be upon you.
The questioner : Peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : How are you?
The questioner : You are welcome.
The Shaykh : How are you?
The questioner : We praise Allah. Welcome.
The Shaykh : Welcome, what is your story, my brother?
The questioner : Nothing, by Allah.
The Shaykh : He said you swear a divorce a lot?
The questioner : By Allah, because of a reason.
The Shaykh : Because of a reason.
The questioner : One who does not listen to his wife...
The Shaykh : Well, and you mean, excuse me, in your opinion and your view, that you go and divorce your wife for the most trivial reasons?
The questioner: No.
The Shaykh : Yes, may Allah bless you, so you must control your nerves.
The questioner : By Allah, my brother, we are not from today, we have been married for 35 years.
The Shaykh : What Allah willed.
The questioner : We have young men, we have children, and we have this.
The Shaykh : Because of that, you must now know.
The questioner : We pray and worship our Lord, and everything, I mean.
The Shaykh : Therefore, you must know how to deal with the mother of your children.
The questioner : ... do not contradict your wife and do not answer her back.
The Shaykh : Excuse me, we are all advising you now. We are speaking with you, may Allah bless you. If she provoked you and you got irritated from this provocation, you must not come and vent your anger with a divorce, because this playing with divorce is not permissible in the Shari'ah, and especially since some scholars issue a fatwa for you just because you uttered a divorce, they separate you from your wife, and then you regret it, and the regret does not benefit you. Therefore, you must guard your tongue and not vent your anger on your wife, even if she is the one who caused your irritation.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : And you, in any case, give me your wife, let me also advise her as I advised you.
The questioner: Go ahead.
The questioner : Hello.
The Shaykh : Who are you, what do they call you?
The questioner : I am Umm 'Isam, that is what they call me.
The Shaykh : Umm 'Isam.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Look, Umm 'Isam, I advised Abu 'Isam not to get irritated and not to divorce for the most trivial reasons, but he said that you are the cause. Therefore, may Allah bless you, you must not let your wife get irritated with you and be angry at you.
The questioner : By Allah, Shaykh, my sister is advising him, she says to him, "Abu 'Isam, you have reached this age and you are religious."
The Shaykh : Wait for me. Now, I do not want to understand from you what you are saying to him and what he is saying to you. Now, I want to give you the ruling.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : I, I advised him not to get irritated at you and not to utter a divorce on you. I also want to advise you, in the end, that you do not be the cause of provoking his anger. Listen, may Allah guide you.
The questioner : Oh Shaykh, absolutely not.
The Shaykh : Listen, may Allah guide you.
The questioner : Every hour, the divorce is on you.
The Shaykh: Peace be upon you.
The questioner : Peace be upon you, welcome.
The Shaykh : I am trying to make my voice heard with you. Listen so I can finish my speech. You are cutting me off, and you have now made me rule that you really do let your husband get irritated at you, because you made me get irritated at you. I am speaking, and you are cutting me off. And I am speaking from your side, and from your husband's side, and from the side of the marital relationship between you two. So listen to the speech and do not cut off the speech, did you hear me?
The questioner : I heard you, I wanted to tell you.
The Shaykh : I do not want you to speak to me. I want to speak to you. You are done. Your speech is known. Do not speak to me. I spoke with Abu 'Isam and I advised him well and I advised him, and the matter is finished. Now, secondly, I advise you, and I will give you the legal ruling at the end. So I advise you that you do not answer your husband back, do not raise your voice at him, and do not irritate him, as you are irritating me, and there is no relationship between me and you except that you are asking me and I am answering you. Despite that, you are cutting off my speech. What do you do with your husband? Allah knows. In conclusion: If you see your husband is angry, be silent and do not answer him, and do not take and answer him, because in the end, you will make him more furious, angry, and irritated, and consequently, in the end, he will divorce you. And I told him that this divorce, many scholars consider it a divorce. Therefore, may Allah bless you, I advise you that you remain gentle and soft with your husband, do not raise your voice at him, do not argue with him, and do not take and answer him. And now, I say the marital relationship between you and him is still legal. And on this basis, I advise you with two pieces of advice: The first: Remove your head covering, he is your husband. And the second: That you be gentle with him, apologize to him for the irritations that he was having with you, and you are the cause. Did you understand me?
The questioner : I understood, meaning the divorce did not take effect?
The Shaykh : The divorce did not take effect.
The questioner : Well, thank you.
The Shaykh : But my advice, do not lose it for me.
The questioner : Well, thank you.
The Shaykh: Peace be upon you.
The questioner : And peace be upon you, goodbye.
The Shaykh : Is he religious?
The questioner : He is new to this, meaning he has only been praying for about three or four years.
The Shaykh : How old is he?
The questioner : He is in his sixties, 61 years old.
The Shaykh : May Allah be his helper. Well, can he ask me?
The questioner : I am not speaking with you on the basis that he thinks the divorce did not take effect because he was in a state of anger, and that is how it is, because he is always aggressive. Sometimes he swears a divorce saying, "If you do this thing, I will not do it."
The Shaykh : Yes, well, why did you let him get angry and swear the oath? Why?
The questioner : He swore on me to go sleep at my parents' house. He swore a divorce, "Do not go sleep at my father's house. My father is sick, I do not want to go and cause him pain." Anyway, why did I go and cause him pain? He swore a divorce on me unless I go sleep at my father's house, at my parents' house, for two days, and on Saturday I come. He does not speak, no one brings me. I came on my own. Then when my sister came to me and said to him, "This is not right, Abu 'Isam, you do not do this, you act like this. You have become big, you swear a divorce every hour and every second, you curse your father, is this how it is?" He started saying to her, "The divorce is on me, the divorce is on me, O Lina, no one will take you back unless you are divorced. You will not sit in my house, and I do not want you." I said to him, "I am sitting in my house, I am not leaving the house..." He wanted to throw me out.
The Shaykh : There is no power or strength except with Allah. Well, was there a previous divorce?
The questioner : How?
The Shaykh : Was there a previous divorce between you and him?
The questioner : No, no, before, but I mean, he was always getting irritated and angry, but they say it is a state of anger, so the divorce does not take effect.
The Shaykh : Well, what is the difference between this time and the previous times? What is the difference?
The questioner : Because sometimes he swears, and I do not let it mean the divorce takes effect. "Do not do this thing, I will not do it, this is not it, this is not it." And for a long time he has been swearing divorces, and they say it is not valid because he is not religious, because he is aggressive, because of that. But now that he became religious, we said it is not right for him to keep swearing divorces. They say we asked a scholar, and he said because he is in a state of anger, the divorce did not take effect. I told him I want to ask another scholar.
The Shaykh : Well, and you testify that he was angry.
The questioner : He was irritated, exactly, he was irritated. I said, "You cursed my father." He said to me, "Liar, you did not curse your father." I said to him, "No, I cursed you. You are praying, and I also did not say anything to you. May Allah forgive you." And he swore on me to sleep at my parents' house, and I slept there, and now I came, and the triple divorce is on me, that no one will take me back, and that you are divorced. And from this talk, twice, I asked her if the divorce takes effect.
The Shaykh : Yes, I am confused about the matter now. Is this the first time he swore on you to go to your father's house and you went?
The questioner : I went, yes.
The Shaykh : Well, that did not take effect.
The questioner : That one did not take effect.
The Shaykh : Well, and then you came back without his permission?
The questioner : No, I came back. He said, "Come back, I will not come to get you," so I came back.
The Shaykh : Well, you came back again, did he divorce you?
The questioner : How?
The Shaykh : Did he divorce you again when you came back?
The questioner : Yes, when I came back and my sister came to me and said to him, "This is not right, Abu 'Isam, why are you like this?" From this talk, he got irritated with the divorce, that you are divorced, and no one will take you back.
The Shaykh : Yes, well, there is no god but Allah. Is he now consistent in his prayer?
The questioner : He is, he prays...
The Shaykh : In any case, I want me.
The questioner : ... give it, give it ... wait, wait, stay on the line, Shaykh, stay on the line.
The Shaykh : Yes, okay.
The questioner : Stay on the line.
The questioner : Hello.
The Shaykh : Welcome.
The questioner : You are welcome.
The Shaykh : Peace be upon you.
The questioner : Peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : How are you?
The questioner : You are welcome.
The Shaykh : How are you?
The questioner : We praise Allah. Welcome.
The Shaykh : Welcome, what is your story, my brother?
The questioner : Nothing, by Allah.
The Shaykh : He said you swear a divorce a lot?
The questioner : By Allah, because of a reason.
The Shaykh : Because of a reason.
The questioner : One who does not listen to his wife...
The Shaykh : Well, and you mean, excuse me, in your opinion and your view, that you go and divorce your wife for the most trivial reasons?
The questioner: No.
The Shaykh : Yes, may Allah bless you, so you must control your nerves.
The questioner : By Allah, my brother, we are not from today, we have been married for 35 years.
The Shaykh : What Allah willed.
The questioner : We have young men, we have children, and we have this.
The Shaykh : Because of that, you must now know.
The questioner : We pray and worship our Lord, and everything, I mean.
The Shaykh : Therefore, you must know how to deal with the mother of your children.
The questioner : ... do not contradict your wife and do not answer her back.
The Shaykh : Excuse me, we are all advising you now. We are speaking with you, may Allah bless you. If she provoked you and you got irritated from this provocation, you must not come and vent your anger with a divorce, because this playing with divorce is not permissible in the Shari'ah, and especially since some scholars issue a fatwa for you just because you uttered a divorce, they separate you from your wife, and then you regret it, and the regret does not benefit you. Therefore, you must guard your tongue and not vent your anger on your wife, even if she is the one who caused your irritation.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : And you, in any case, give me your wife, let me also advise her as I advised you.
The questioner: Go ahead.
The questioner : Hello.
The Shaykh : Who are you, what do they call you?
The questioner : I am Umm 'Isam, that is what they call me.
The Shaykh : Umm 'Isam.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Look, Umm 'Isam, I advised Abu 'Isam not to get irritated and not to divorce for the most trivial reasons, but he said that you are the cause. Therefore, may Allah bless you, you must not let your wife get irritated with you and be angry at you.
The questioner : By Allah, Shaykh, my sister is advising him, she says to him, "Abu 'Isam, you have reached this age and you are religious."
The Shaykh : Wait for me. Now, I do not want to understand from you what you are saying to him and what he is saying to you. Now, I want to give you the ruling.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : I, I advised him not to get irritated at you and not to utter a divorce on you. I also want to advise you, in the end, that you do not be the cause of provoking his anger. Listen, may Allah guide you.
The questioner : Oh Shaykh, absolutely not.
The Shaykh : Listen, may Allah guide you.
The questioner : Every hour, the divorce is on you.
The Shaykh: Peace be upon you.
The questioner : Peace be upon you, welcome.
The Shaykh : I am trying to make my voice heard with you. Listen so I can finish my speech. You are cutting me off, and you have now made me rule that you really do let your husband get irritated at you, because you made me get irritated at you. I am speaking, and you are cutting me off. And I am speaking from your side, and from your husband's side, and from the side of the marital relationship between you two. So listen to the speech and do not cut off the speech, did you hear me?
The questioner : I heard you, I wanted to tell you.
The Shaykh : I do not want you to speak to me. I want to speak to you. You are done. Your speech is known. Do not speak to me. I spoke with Abu 'Isam and I advised him well and I advised him, and the matter is finished. Now, secondly, I advise you, and I will give you the legal ruling at the end. So I advise you that you do not answer your husband back, do not raise your voice at him, and do not irritate him, as you are irritating me, and there is no relationship between me and you except that you are asking me and I am answering you. Despite that, you are cutting off my speech. What do you do with your husband? Allah knows. In conclusion: If you see your husband is angry, be silent and do not answer him, and do not take and answer him, because in the end, you will make him more furious, angry, and irritated, and consequently, in the end, he will divorce you. And I told him that this divorce, many scholars consider it a divorce. Therefore, may Allah bless you, I advise you that you remain gentle and soft with your husband, do not raise your voice at him, do not argue with him, and do not take and answer him. And now, I say the marital relationship between you and him is still legal. And on this basis, I advise you with two pieces of advice: The first: Remove your head covering, he is your husband. And the second: That you be gentle with him, apologize to him for the irritations that he was having with you, and you are the cause. Did you understand me?
The questioner : I understood, meaning the divorce did not take effect?
The Shaykh : The divorce did not take effect.
The questioner : Well, thank you.
The Shaykh : But my advice, do not lose it for me.
The questioner : Well, thank you.
The Shaykh: Peace be upon you.
The questioner : And peace be upon you, goodbye.
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.