Rulings concerning marriage.

The Shaykh : And if this is facilitated for these reasons and others that we have not mentioned, then it is obligatory, it is obligatory upon both spouses to have knowledge of what follows from this marriage, and what follows from sexual intercourse in terms of legal rulings, so that their conduct in this marriage is in accordance with the Shari'ah. Among this is that it is obligatory for each of the spouses to treat the other with kindness, by the saying of Allah the Exalted: and by His saying: And if the spouses treat each other with kindness, then that preserves the affection between them and completes the blessing. How many separations have occurred due to the lack of treating each other with kindness? So if each of them fears Allah and treats the other with kindness and gives him or her the right that is obligatory upon them, then goodness and blessing will result from that. And if disputes increase between the spouses, you will find that most of their causes are the lack of treating each other with kindness. The husband strikes his wife over the most trivial thing, and she opposes him and quarrels with him over the smallest thing. Therefore, it is obligatory for each of the spouses to treat the other with kindness as Allah the Exalted has commanded. And among what must be attended to and known is what is obligatory upon the spouses in worship. For example, regarding the full ritual bath, some spouses are unaware that having sexual intercourse with the woman is a cause for the full ritual bath, unless ejaculation occurs. That is, some people think that there is no full ritual bath except with ejaculation, and that if a man has intercourse with his wife without ejaculation, there is no full ritual bath upon him. For this reason, questions about this issue are frequent. You will find a man saying to me, "Three months, four months, or a year or more, I have intercourse with my wife without ejaculation and I do not perform the full ritual bath, neither I nor she." Why? Because they are ignorant. So it is obligatory for a person to learn such rulings so that he is aware of his affair. Also, among what must be attended to and known is that it is not permissible for a husband to have intercourse with his wife while she is menstruating, by the saying of Allah the Exalted: meaning, "bathe yourselves" . Some people are overcome by desire and have intercourse with the woman while she is menstruating. This is forbidden, and there is an expiation for it according to many scholars. And it causes very great harm to the woman, as many doctors have informed us, because the membranes in this state are not capable of withstanding this act, so they tear and much harm occurs to the woman. Then, the meeting of the man's fluid with the blood coming from the uterus also causes harm. Therefore, Allah the Glorious and Exalted has forbidden having intercourse with the woman during menstruation and said that it is a harm: . But Allah the Exalted has made the matter broad. The husband may have intercourse with his wife during menstruation wherever he wishes, except in the private part from which the menstruation comes, and except in the anus, because the anus is forbidden to be penetrated in all cases. And as for everything else, let him do what he wishes. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to order A'ishah, while she was menstruating, to wrap herself in a garment, and he would have intercourse with her while she was menstruating. He only ordered her to wrap herself so that he would not see from her what the soul dislikes of the effects of menstruation. And if a person sees from his wife what the soul dislikes, then that generates in his heart a dislike for her. So prevention, as they say, is better than cure.