What is your advice for a young Muslim man who is proposing to a Muslim woman?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner: Up to now, every time the matter falls through for no reason, there are no causes. Is it possible that hijab (barriers) or sorcery or things like that might be intervening?
The Shaykh: No, but it appears to me that the man has a problem. We must know about the man; is he proposing and being rejected?
The questioner: Absolutely, even from close relatives.
The Shaykh: Does he impose conditions or not?
The questioner : Nothing.
The Shaykh: How so? Or is there nothing?
The questioner: There are no conditions at all.
The Shaykh: I mean, if he were presented with an old, bald woman, he would agree to her. The first condition, brother, is that there must be no conditions.
The questioner: In my view, he needs beauty at the same time as religion and beauty?
The Shaykh: Ha, do you see how it is?
The questioner: But he asks, and it falls through, but there is no reason for it.
The Shaykh: He should give up some of the conditions!
The questioner: Give up some of the conditions.
The Shaykh: This is the cure, meaning in obedience to his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): So stick to the one with religion, and by God, your hands are chapped (you will find no one else). And I believe that if he is content with this single condition, the one with religion, that Allah (Mighty and Majestic) will write for him a good portion, because Allah says: [Al-'Ankabut 29:69] [At-Talaq 65:2-3] Do not imagine a Muslim who seeks the Face of Allah in a deed, and then our Lord places between him and it a barrier like the wall of Dhul-Qarnayn. Do not imagine this. If you and others imagine this, it means you have attributed injustice to your Lord. [Fussilat 41:46] This is what you thought was the reality: that he imposes conditions, and therefore it is difficult for all these conditions to be met. So he must give up some of them, as long as they do not contradict the Shari'ah. His condition is that he wants beauty, and beauty is a relative thing. For example, he might want her to have, say, black eyes and black hair.
The questioner: I do not know about this regarding him.
The Shaykh: I am not asking you about what you said; I am just giving an example. Yes, he searches and does not find. He finds, for example, a girl whose hair is not black, not jet black, but maybe a lighter shade, and he does not like it. Or he wants one who is blonde with golden hair, and he will not find that, especially in these lands. He would have to go to Europe and so on. So my advice to him, since you are asking about him, is that he should fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic), and that is all. And I guarantee that he will reach his desired goal. All right, let us give the iqamah and pray.
The Shaykh: No, but it appears to me that the man has a problem. We must know about the man; is he proposing and being rejected?
The questioner: Absolutely, even from close relatives.
The Shaykh: Does he impose conditions or not?
The questioner : Nothing.
The Shaykh: How so? Or is there nothing?
The questioner: There are no conditions at all.
The Shaykh: I mean, if he were presented with an old, bald woman, he would agree to her. The first condition, brother, is that there must be no conditions.
The questioner: In my view, he needs beauty at the same time as religion and beauty?
The Shaykh: Ha, do you see how it is?
The questioner: But he asks, and it falls through, but there is no reason for it.
The Shaykh: He should give up some of the conditions!
The questioner: Give up some of the conditions.
The Shaykh: This is the cure, meaning in obedience to his saying (peace and blessings be upon him):
A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her beauty, her lineage, and her religion.
تنكح المرأة لأربع لمالها وجمالها وحسبها ودينهاAnd those who strive for Us - We will surely guide them to Our ways
والذين جاهدوا فينا لنهدينهم سبلناAnd whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out (3) And will provide for him from where he does not expect.
ومن يتق الله يجعل له مخرجا ويرزقه من حيث لا يحتسبAnd your Lord is not ever unjust to [His] servants.
وما ربك بظلام للعبيدThe questioner: I do not know about this regarding him.
The Shaykh: I am not asking you about what you said; I am just giving an example. Yes, he searches and does not find. He finds, for example, a girl whose hair is not black, not jet black, but maybe a lighter shade, and he does not like it. Or he wants one who is blonde with golden hair, and he will not find that, especially in these lands. He would have to go to Europe and so on. So my advice to him, since you are asking about him, is that he should fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic), and that is all. And I guarantee that he will reach his desired goal. All right, let us give the iqamah and pray.
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.