A woman wants to have children but her husband refuses; what should the woman do? And a discussion on limiting and regulating the number of children.
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The questioner : A woman wants to have children, but her husband also refuses to have many offspring and is content with some of his children. Is she allowed to order or do something that he would agree to having children, or for example...
The Shaykh : For example, what can she do? First, agreeing to this husband's methodology is not permissible according to the Shari'ah. But what can this wife do? We must know the reasons for the matter.
The questioner : He is old in age.
The Shaykh : Yes?
The questioner : He is old in age, but he is capable of having children; he just does not want to.
The Shaykh : This is a repetition of your question. May Allah reward you. I hope for an answer to my direct question: what can this woman do regarding this husband who wants to limit the number of children or regulate the number of children? For example, does she want to refuse him? We would say in that case, no, it is not permissible, because that is his right. So, what do you want to do in this question of yours? I do not think you have [an answer], there is not...
The questioner : ...offspring.
Another questioner: Perhaps, Shaykh, she can order him to use a barrier, for example.
The Shaykh : how
Another questioner: Perhaps... regarding the barrier, for example, 'azl (coitus interruptus) or something else, she hints... perhaps this is a way out.
The Shaykh : If she refuses something he imposes on her that is not permissible according to the Shari'ah, this refusal is valid, but this is not a positive action on her part; it is a negative action. I fear that there is something behind the question that contradicts the Shari'ah, as I gave the example just now that she refuses to consent to what he wants. The important point is that limiting and regulating the number of children is not from Islam. Of course, there are specific rulings in certain circumstances concerning the wife, not the husband. If she is sick, for example, or has anemia, and there is a fear of her death due to frequent childbirth, then it can be said that she may take some precautions that do not force her to expose her 'awrah (private parts). Within certain limits, this is possible. But adopting a system as is common in this time, this is not permissible.
Another questioner: Our Shaykh, if she relies on birth control pills...
The Shaykh : ...if it is within the limits we mentioned, meaning, for example, she is not sick.
Another questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Ah
The Shaykh : For example, what can she do? First, agreeing to this husband's methodology is not permissible according to the Shari'ah. But what can this wife do? We must know the reasons for the matter.
The questioner : He is old in age.
The Shaykh : Yes?
The questioner : He is old in age, but he is capable of having children; he just does not want to.
The Shaykh : This is a repetition of your question. May Allah reward you. I hope for an answer to my direct question: what can this woman do regarding this husband who wants to limit the number of children or regulate the number of children? For example, does she want to refuse him? We would say in that case, no, it is not permissible, because that is his right. So, what do you want to do in this question of yours? I do not think you have [an answer], there is not...
The questioner : ...offspring.
Another questioner: Perhaps, Shaykh, she can order him to use a barrier, for example.
The Shaykh : how
Another questioner: Perhaps... regarding the barrier, for example, 'azl (coitus interruptus) or something else, she hints... perhaps this is a way out.
The Shaykh : If she refuses something he imposes on her that is not permissible according to the Shari'ah, this refusal is valid, but this is not a positive action on her part; it is a negative action. I fear that there is something behind the question that contradicts the Shari'ah, as I gave the example just now that she refuses to consent to what he wants. The important point is that limiting and regulating the number of children is not from Islam. Of course, there are specific rulings in certain circumstances concerning the wife, not the husband. If she is sick, for example, or has anemia, and there is a fear of her death due to frequent childbirth, then it can be said that she may take some precautions that do not force her to expose her 'awrah (private parts). Within certain limits, this is possible. But adopting a system as is common in this time, this is not permissible.
Another questioner: Our Shaykh, if she relies on birth control pills...
The Shaykh : ...if it is within the limits we mentioned, meaning, for example, she is not sick.
Another questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Ah