Discussing the methods of giving advice, and explaining the hadith of Mu'awiyah ibn al-Hakam, who said

The Shaykh : And another point: advice, as we mentioned in the previous lesson, is not far off; it must be given in a good manner, as we told you the story of Ibn 'Umar with that man who sneezed and praised Allah, but he added to his praise what Allah has not prescribed on the tongue of His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) when he said, "Praise be to Allah, and blessings and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah." Ibn 'Umar said, "I am saying with you, 'Praise be to Allah, and blessings upon the Messenger of Allah,' but this is not how the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) taught us." So, the manner adopted by Ibn 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him and his father 'Umar) is a manner of utmost gentleness and utmost impact on the one being advised. Therefore, this advice which the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded in this hadith specifically when seeking advice, and in that hadith generally, should always and forever be accompanied by a good manner, as Allah (Mighty and Majestic) said: But we must add to this rule something: many people are dominated by this rule, and they try to enforce it, enforcing it and continuing with it always and forever, even if there is something that necessitates changing the manner. I say this to clarify the truth and to understand the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and his hadiths, which combine both manners, not just one manner.
The first manner is the one we mentioned at the beginning of this speech and in the previous lesson, which is being gentle with the people whom one intends to advise. As for the other manner, sometimes the situation requires strictness, and perhaps even rebuke; it is not always with light, soft words. This is the principle, and this is the rule. But as the scholars of usul al-fiqh said: "There is no general statement that has not been specified" This general principle is wisdom and gentleness, but wisdom is not always and forever accompanied by gentleness. We mention, as an example supporting the first manner, many and many hadiths of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), and we do not want to elaborate on this, since all people know this truth and prefer it, and indeed do not exclude anything from it. But I will mention a story by way of reminder and education for those who may not know it. Imam Muslim narrated in his Sahih that beautiful and interesting story which clarifies to Muslims how the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) treated people with gentleness. This story is narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn al-Hakam al-Sulami, and I do not want to quote the hadith as it came, but rather take from it the point. He prayed one day behind the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and a man next to him sneezed, so he said to him, "May Allah have mercy on you." A man stood next to Mu'awiyah ibn al-Hakam al-Sulami; both were in prayer. That man sneezed, and Mu'awiyah said to him, "May Allah have mercy on you," while he was praying like him. Those around him looked at him to silence him, so he became more annoyed and complained because he was not aware of the knowledge and understanding. He called out at the top of his voice, "Woe to my mother, what is the matter with you? Why are you looking at me?" They found no way to silence him because they were in prayer silent, reciting the Qur'an, remembering Allah. They found no way except hitting their thighs, telling him to be silent, that this is not a place for responding to a sneeze, because this is speech. The point is that he narrates about himself that when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) finished the prayer, he turned to me. Can you imagine the state of a person who, after being rebuked, realized he was wrong? What does he imagine the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) is coming to do to him? In our time, if something like this happened, look, the Shaykh would come toward us, and of course, he would beat us and insult us and attribute us to ignorance, and so on. But the Messenger (may the prayers and peace of Allah be upon him), naturally, did not do any of that at all. This is what the narrator of the story describes, saying: "When the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) finished the prayer, he turned to me. By Allah, he did not humiliate me, nor did he oppress me, nor did he hit me, nor did he insult me, but rather he said to me: When he was surprised by this gentleness and this teaching, the man hoped to learn from him in that session. So he began to ask him, asking the Messenger question after question, and the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) answered him about every question without any restlessness or annoyance. I will not prolong this for you, as I said, especially since I have mentioned the hadith more than once.