Advice from the Shaykh to women who behave like men.

The questioner : We have heard from these women present in some universities, schools, or colleges, or some female lecturers, when they deliver a lecture or a lesson, or even when they recite the Qur'an through the loudspeaker, especially in the morning. We have heard that the husbands of these women have never been satisfied with them because they behave like men. So we want you to clarify this question.

The Shaykh : The root of this issue is poor upbringing, and among the causes of poor upbringing is the corruption of society and the corruption of the curricula upon which the teaching of men and women, or young men and young women, is based. This is becauseThe student : the students in schools—I am as certain as I can be that they do not hear such as his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): , and also the other hadith narrated by 'Abdullah ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: . In my belief,The student : the female students who graduate from secondary schools or higher have not had such a hadith, or that first hadith, reach their ears. And if something of either hadith did reach their ears one day, it is of the kind that enters one ear and exits the other, because the curricula that are taught, or the lessons delivered based on them, do not allow the school, even if it is religious, to expand on such a topic. It is known in the Shari'ah and among the people of knowledge of it that the default for a man is to leave his home to work for the benefit of his family and kin. Conversely, the default for a woman is to remain in her home and not leave it, in accordance with the saying of her Lord (Blessed and Exalted is He): . So when the woman became like the man, going out in the morning and returning in the evening, she became, in that, imitating the man, whether she knows it or not, whether she is aware of it or not. And for that reason, we no longer see in these later times the virgin girl who is shy that her gaze falls upon a man; rather, out of the intensity of her modesty, she casts her gaze to the ground to see her steps as she walks. We no longer see this girl, of whom such examples were known even in the pre-Islamic age of ignorance, let alone in the era of the earliest, brightest, and purest Islam. For that reason, it came in the authentic collections regarding the character of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he was more shy than a virgin, to the point that it would affect him. This virgin, to whom the Master of Mankind (peace and blessings be upon him) compared his own modesty, is no longer heard of in our time. That is because imitating men has prevailed among women. There is no doubt that this has many causes, the most important of which, initially, is the dominance of disbelieving rulers over many Islamic lands. They spread their customs, traditions, tastes, and morals, which deviate from the sound innate disposition, and a generation of people inherited them. Guided teachers, male and female, received them, and all of these spread among this rising generation of young men and women what they call equality between women and men. This was one of the causes of the spread of lack of modesty among women, which made many of them behave like men. And it is certain that a woman behaving like a man makes her assert her personality before her husband, and she may raise her voice above his, and perhaps humiliate him before some of his or her relatives, out of arrogance over her husband. Where is this from what came in the Prophet's (peace and blessings be upon him) advice to men regarding women, and he explained it with a reason that completely contradicts the upbringing we see in the present age, namely his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): . The point is that when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded to treat women well in this hadith, he explained it (peace and blessings be upon him) by saying: "For they are captives among you," meaning they are like captives. A captive cannot do anything with his master. Likewise, the Muslim woman who is characterized by the true morals of Islam is like a captive before her husband. And for that reason, he (peace and blessings be upon him) feared that men would exploit this description befitting women, so they would be arrogant toward them, tyrannical toward them, and unjust to them. And for that reason, he commanded to treat women well and explained it with this reason, namely his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): . Women today are not in need of men being advised to treat them well; rather, the situation has reversed, and women have become in need of being advised to treat men well, because they have become independent in their work and their actions. Often we hear from some of them that there is no difference between me and my husband; he is a husband and I am a wife, he is a partner and I am a partner with him in life. So, to the Muslim women who hold fast to their religion, if they have been afflicted with some mixing in this society, let them try to save themselves from being affected by any of this drift in which many women have fallen due to the corruption of upbringing and the corruption of society that we have mentioned. This is a reminder, and a reminder benefits the believers. Peace be upon you.

The questioner : May Allah reward you with all good, and peace be upon you.