The Shaykh's advice to the leader regarding not preventing the mujahideen from marrying Bosnian women.

The Shaykh : The second matter: I imagine, and I hope I am mistaken in my imagination, that you did not propose this prohibition, or this separation, or this distancing between the suitor and the prospective bride. I imagine it is as I have described. So, I advise you...

The questioner : How did you propose it?

The Shaykh : This is what I am about to say. I advise you to publicize the idea that you want to propose and implement in practice. You should publicize this idea among the people who live with you. First, I say, according to my previous details, those who live with you in the da'wah, and then those who live with you in jihad or in fighting. You should publicize among them the idea that you want to make effective and real. For example, you give lectures, you issue notes from time to time, saying: "I advise our brothers who strive with us, fight with us, and call with us not to be hasty and marry any woman here, because among them are the righteous and the wicked, the religious, and so on." This reminder should be brought up on many occasions so that if you prevent one of them from doing something, he is not surprised by what he did not expect, because he has been reminded with such words. And then no one will criticize you or hold you accountable for what you did.

The questioner : This is what I did at the beginning of the jihad. This is exactly what I did, and I told them: "I do not allow any person to marry without my knowledge, because the reason is that I do not want the tragedy of Pishavar to be repeated in Bosnia and Herzegovina, and what happened..."

The Shaykh : That is good, but I mean repeating this topic, because the matter, may Allah reward you, has not become firmly established, especially with these people who are far from such matters. It does not become established in one or two times, but it must be repeated often until even the heedless one becomes alert. This is, in any case, by way of reminder.

The questioner : And his companions said to him, "Abu al-Aziz, know that he has prohibited it."

The Shaykh: Good.

The questioner : He said, "He is not my father, nor the guardian of my affairs, so he cannot prohibit me."

The Shaykh : This is not important.

The questioner : And he did what he did. So, is it permissible for me to say to him, "Go and live for yourself, and do not join us"?

The Shaykh : No. Here I say, be gentle with him. This requires containment and reminder. As you know from the hadith of Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), when that Jew entered and said, "As-samu 'alayk" (Death be upon you), O Messenger of Allah, or O Muhammad, he said: Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) almost split in two. She said, "And upon you be death, and the curse, and the anger. The brothers of the Jews are the brothers of the monkeys and the pigs." After the man left, he (peace and blessings be upon him) said to her: She said, "O Messenger of Allah, did you not hear what he said?" He said: So, these, may Allah reward you, you must imagine that they are patients. Their treatment, as we said earlier, is in Islam. They are patients, and a patient must be treated with gentleness. So, instead of scolding and expelling him, he should be contained and watched more than others until he straightens out on the path. This is the second matter.