What should this Christian who has embraced Islam do if he fears that his family will harm him, and is he allowed to please his parents and obey them?

The questioner : The matter I want to inquire about, O Shaykh, is that I took this step, and if any of my family is harmed...

The Shaykh : Harmed by your Islam?

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : How do you mean?

The questioner : I mean, for example, a brother who was unable to get married out of shame, or due to a certain situation, or like a sister, or something like that. So, is there a sin on me? Is there a fault on me?

The Shaykh : I, even though I have not yet clarified from your words the type of harm that befalls your brother or your sister, will answer with a general response. I say: Allah the Mighty and Majestic said: [Q1] And this is part of the perfection of the Qur'an, as He said, even if not in this context: Allah the Mighty and Majestic says: I will bring you an example. The harm that may befall the relatives you mentioned, or others, may be due to what I am saying, or due to your Islam, but rather it is due to their remaining in their disbelief and misguidance, such that you are saved from what may befall them. Our Lord, the Mighty and Majestic, says in the Noble Qur'an: This is the state that Allah (Mighty and Majestic) described for the People of the Book who do not adhere to the religion of truth, when the state of Islam is established. And I am sorry to say a harsh, painful reality: the state of Islam today is not established. But the matter is as Allah the Exalted said: And as Allah the Exalted said: I want to say that if the state of Islam were established, every person living in the abode of Islam would be commanded to do one of three things: either Islam, as you did, or fighting, as the enemies of Islam do always and forever, or paying the jizyah (the tax on protected non-Muslims) with their own hands while in a state of humiliation. Here comes the point, and it is sensitive, and I hope you will take a lesson from it after Allah has guided you to Islam. If all the Christians currently present in the land of Islam were invited to one of these three traits, either they would embrace Islam—they are not forced into Islam, for Allah (Mighty and Majestic) says: They are not forced into Islam, but if they do not embrace Islam voluntarily and with conviction, and they wish to reside in the land of Islam, they must pay this tax which Allah the Mighty and Majestic named in the Noble Qur'an as the jizyah, and they must be subject to the rule of Islam. If they refuse this and that—meaning they refuse Islam and refuse the tax—then at that point, nothing remains for them but fighting. So you—may Allah forbid it, here is the point—if you had remained with them in their disbelief and their misguidance, the situation would have required you to fight alongside them. But since Allah guided you to Islam, you are commanded to fight them. Is that right or not?

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : So what harm will befall them because of your Islam now? It is nothing at all. I hope the matter has become clear to you?

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah.

The questioner : A small comment regarding the pleasure of the parents.

The Shaykh : This is for the case where their approval and disapproval are not aggression, not aggression. I think this is one of the principles of Islam, and it must have reached your ears one day or another. There is no doubt that obedience to parents is a derivative, not a primary duty; it is a derivative of obedience to Allah and His Messenger. Is that clear? The primary duty is obedience to Allah and obedience to His Messenger. From obedience to Allah and obedience to His Messenger comes obedience to the parents. Likewise, the rulers and those in authority: their obedience is obligatory, and their obedience is part of obedience to Allah and obedience to His Messenger. He (peace and blessings be upon him) said, or before the hadith, Here is a point mentioned by some exegetes that is truly wonderful: Why did our Lord (Mighty and Majestic) repeat the verb regarding obedience to the Messenger, but did not repeat the verb regarding obedience to those in authority? He said: He did not say, "And obey Allah and the Messenger." He said: What is the point? The point is that obedience to the Messenger, in that it is revelation from the sky, does not admit of error; so whoever obeys the Messenger with certainty has obeyed Allah, and for that reason he said: As for those in authority, their obedience is contingent upon their obedience to the Messenger. If they obey the Messenger, it is obligatory for us to obey them; if they do not obey the Messenger, it is not obligatory for us to obey them. There is a very famous hadith with a specific occasion. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) sent out a small expeditionary force, appointing a commander over them and ordering the soldiers to obey this commander. The commander wanted to test the soldiers to see if they would obey him or not. He ordered them to bring firewood to be gathered from the desert. He commanded them to gather the firewood, and they did. Then he said to them, "Gather it around," and they did. "Light the fire," and they did. "Throw yourselves into it," and they hesitated. They looked at one another and said, "By Allah, we did not believe in the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) except to escape from the Fire. Will we throw ourselves into the Fire?" They said, "By Allah, we will not do so until we ask the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him)." So they asked the Messenger (peace be upon him) and recounted the story to him. He said: The point is that obedience to parents is like obedience to those in authority. These people are to be obeyed in obedience to Allah and His Messenger, but if they disobey Allah and the Messenger, there is no obedience due to them. For example, a son becomes a Muslim, but his father is not pleased with his Islam. We say, in the Syrian expression, "he will never be pleased," because it is sufficient that Allah is pleased with him, as that noble Companion said. Who was he?
"I do not care when I am killed a Muslim *** On which side my death is for Allah"
I do not care if my mother or my father is pleased with my Islam. But here is a word that must be said to complete what came before. Even if Allah the Exalted has bestowed a favor upon you and you have left them from their misguidance to the guidance of Islam, your obedience to your parents remains obligatory, subject to the previous condition, namely, without disobedience. Your service to them is obligatory. I do not say that it should remain as it was, but it must improve from what it was, but not in disobedience to Allah. If they say to you, for example, "Bring us such and such an item" or "Give us so many dinars," and you are able to do so, you must respond to them. But if they say to you, "Take these five dinars and buy us wine," you say, "Excuse me, there is no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator." So you should continue in their obedience as long as they do not order you to commit a sin. And it is mentioned in Sahih al-Bukhari, and perhaps you have heard of something called Sahih al-Bukhari?

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah. This is the most authentic of the books that narrate the biography of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and his hadiths, his sayings, his actions, and his guidance. In this book, it is mentioned that Asma' bint Abi Bakr’s mother came to her while she was a polytheist and remained upon her polytheism in Makkah. She came to visit her daughter, Asma' bint Abi Bakr, who was in al-Madinah. She asked the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) whether she should maintain ties with her, meaning, honor her with something. He (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered her to do so, despite the difference between them: she was a Muslim, and her mother was a polytheist and idolater. So you must keep in mind these two conclusions. But this does not contradict the obligation of continuing to be dutiful to your mother and father and to be kind to them and to your siblings, subject to the first condition, which is .
Abu Layla : May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh.

The Shaykh: Amen.