When are children ordered to adopt Islamic attire? Is it permissible to reward children with money?

The questioner : Shaykh, since we are in the appearance of a Muslim, we want the appearance of the Muslim child now. You once said that the child is left to his natural disposition until the age of seven. So we want to know the meaning of this Islamic natural disposition now? And we want to know when he is ordered to adopt this Muslim appearance, and especially the girl more than the boy?

The Shaykh : Are we going?
Abu Layla : By Allah, O Shaykh, that is perfect.

The Shaykh : Since you are a merchant! I say, in answer to this question, the limit is his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): This hadith is the starting point from which the guardian of a child, whether male or female, should set out in his effort to raise his children according to the rulings of the Shari'ah when they reach the age of seven. So, based on this hadith, I see that young children up to the age of seven are not to be ordered to do anything at all, nor are they to be encouraged to do anything; they are to be left, as I said, to their natural disposition and their nature. But when they enter the age of seven, it becomes obligatory for the guardian to deal with them in his directing them as if they had reached the age of legal responsibility, although this is not obligatory for them themselves, due to his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): And the correct narration is: And he (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned among them: So here there are two matters: one concerns the guardian, and it is obligatory; the other concerns the child, and it is not obligatory for him. But the obligation concerns the father or the mother. And when we hear the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) say: we should expand a little in our understanding of this command and in its details and application. For the hadith does not mean For example, we see many fathers and mothers being lax in dressing young children, even those who have passed the age of seven, by dressing them in shorts, i.e., the trousers that have no sleeves and expose the thighs. So this child who is dressed in this clothing and has reached the age of seven, and his guardian wants to order him to pray in application of the Prophetic command, this does not mean that he prays in these shorts with his 'awrah exposed. Rather, this requires that he be dressed in clothing that covers his 'awrah, even if he does not have an 'awrah according to his age, because he is not legally responsible in the Shari'ah. But the one who is legally responsible is his guardian. Therefore, if he wants to order his son to pray, he does not order him to pray while exposing his thigh, because the thigh of a male is 'awrah. And a fortiori, if it is a girl of seven years old, she prays not only with her legs exposed, but also with her thighs exposed, on the pretext that she has not reached the age of legal responsibility. We say: Yes, she has not reached the age of legal responsibility, which means that she is not sinful, just as the boy is not sinful. But the father is sinful when he dresses his son, let alone his daughter, in this non-Islamic clothing, because the child has entered the age of seven when the father is ordered to raise him according to Islamic commands. Also, the meaning of does not mean that he prays as he is, with his body impure, without purity, without wudu'. No, this is not the case. Where do we take these details from? And I have no need to expand further on these examples: covering the 'awrah, purity of the body, purity of the place. It is not the meaning of the Messenger's command to the guardian to order his son to pray that the son prays as he pleases, while he does not yet know what prayer is. But the guardian and the father are the ones who know. So if he says: we must keep in mind its conditions and pillars, otherwise it is not a prayer except with these conditions and pillars. And on that basis, we must raise our young children, when they enter the age of seven, to the obligatory matters as if they had reached the age of legal responsibility. And there is no doubt that this noble Prophetic command is of the utmost wisdom, because the child at this age is receptive to direction and education, unlike what many fathers and mothers are afflicted with regarding their children, especially the girls. When the woman or girl reaches the age of marriage, she has grown up, meaning she is free, she wears what she pleases, and she goes out whenever she pleases, and so on. So when the eyes of the wolves turn toward her, jealousy stirs in the chest of her father, and he begins to pressure her. Then it is said: "In summer you lost the milk." Why was this not done before this? Why was this jealousy not restricted by the commands of the Shari'ah? If he had raised this boy or that girl in these Islamic manners, she would have reached the age of legal responsibility while wearing the Shari'ah hijab, and the eyes of the predatory wolves would not turn toward her. This is part of the wisdom of the Messenger's (peace and blessings be upon him) command to parents to order their children to pray when they are seven years old. Then, when they reach the age of ten and the direction by words has not affected them, there must be a resumption of a stricter form of upbringing than the previous one, which is beating. Of course, the beating is not severe. And I believe that it is almost impossible, because a person may be, meaning, naughty, so neither the command nor the beating benefits him. But this rule is very rare, as rare as his saying (peace and blessings be upon him) regarding the reality of life. I hope you pay attention to my saying "regarding the reality of life." The rarity of the following saying of the Messenger regarding the reality of life, where he said: Then he mentioned the opposite: I say this report from the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) about the reality of some people is rare, because the non-rare, i.e., the natural order, and what our Lord (Mighty and Majestic) mentioned in the noble Qur'an: This is the system. But every system has rarities that are inevitable. And therefore, I believe that the rule is that every father who raises his children, males or females, on this Prophetic system: and so on, when they reach the age of legal responsibility, his eye will be pleased, and he will see the effect of his upbringing in his children in the best way, if Allah wills (Mighty and Majestic). Then, our view should not stop at the fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered in this hadith to order the children to pray, and that he did not mention anything else. We should note that his command to pray is not by way of limitation, but by way of example, i.e., an instance. Otherwise, for example, there is fasting: the boy is to be ordered to fast. Yes, because there is no difference in that fasting is like prayer, a pillar of Islam that the adults must perform. Therefore, fathers and mothers must order their sons to fast as they order them to pray. And therefore, we find in the biography of the righteous Salaf, and in the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) specifically, that they used to make their young children fast on the Day of 'Ashura. And it was part of their eagerness to discipline them in this fasting, because it was obligatory before the legislation of the month of Ramadan. It was part of their eagerness for the children to continue fasting, because fasting undoubtedly requires a struggle from the child greater than praying in five minutes, ten minutes, or twenty minutes, while he endures for ten hours, twenty hours, twelve hours, or more, from food and drink. And therefore, he said: "So we used to make for them a toy from cotton wool to distract them from food and drink." So we can take from this hadith that the parents must raise the young children in all the Islamic obligations. But this undoubtedly requires some wisdom and policy, such that if we find a child who has not reached the age of ten who does not respond to the command, we do not add to him anything beyond the command. Likewise, if he reaches the age of ten, we beat him as he (peace and blessings be upon him) said. But the beating should be a beating for upbringing, and not a beating that destroys character, as some fathers and mothers do. And on that basis, we say finally: if the parents raise the children on this path, and then the child reaches the age of legal responsibility, the beating is lifted from him, and he becomes the master of himself. The beating is lifted from him because he has become the master of himself. But this does not mean that the command to enjoin good and forbid evil is lifted. I do not say that if the parents have fulfilled their duty in executing this Prophetic command in the hadith, and the child has reached the age of legal responsibility, the beating is lifted from him because he has become the master of himself, but the command and follow-up with advice and reminder do not cease, just as with any other Muslim who has the right to command with advice and reminder. This is if they have executed the Prophetic command mentioned in the previous hadith. If they did not do so, then a fortiori, the beating should not be used with him after he has become the master of himself. As for the command to beat, it is when he reaches the age of ten, as mentioned repeatedly in the hadith.

Another questioner : Regarding the other means, such as ta'zir, for example, or pressuring the child with his allowance, or things of this sort?

The Shaykh : I do not see this method that has become common in the present age, and especially in some...

Another questioner : Or depriving him...

The Shaykh : Yes, in some of the schools they call for memorizing the Qur'an, and in some associations and social centers where they offer material rewards to the diligent one and the one who memorizes the Qur'an and the like, I do not see this approach as beneficial; rather, it is harmful. I say, yes, but this depends on the material aspect; we encourage the upright with money and deprive the non-upright of money. This is not Islamic upbringing because it imprints on the child a love of money!

Another questioner : ... meaning, for example, now if a boy commits a sin such as listening to music, depriving him of money, for example, so that he does not have the means to practice a hobby that is not acceptable in the Shari'ah, for example, this is one of them. And if it is a membership in a club, depriving him means the means is not for the material purpose, but stopping the material to prevent it!

The Shaykh : Stopping the material to prevent him, this is permissible, but I mean what is happening today, because they deprive the one who does not obey; they deprive him of the outing, not because he spends the outing money on something forbidden. As for what you are asking about, it is from the category of blocking the means to harm, and this is obligatory!

Another questioner : My question is that hitting has stopped, but there are other means, meaning, possible and very possible.

The Shaykh : Every means must be understood. There is no objection to this type, as long as the material is prevented from him so that he does not buy with it what he disobeys Allah with. This is fine. There is no god but Allah.