The Shaykh : These are three. The fourth, before we move past these three, is that intercourse is distinguished from eating and drinking in that it carries a severe expiation if it occurs from one upon whom fasting is obligatory. The severe expiation is the freeing of a slave. If he does not find one, then fasting two consecutive months. If he is unable to do that, then feeding sixty poor people. The evidence for this is what the two Shaykhs narrated in the two Sahihs from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him)
That a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said: "O Messenger of Allah, I am ruined." He said: "What has ruined you?" He said: "I had intercourse with my wife in Ramadan while I was fasting." So the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked him: "Do you have a slave to free?" He said: "No." "Can you fast two consecutive months?" He said: "No." "Can you feed sixty poor people?" He said: "No." So the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was silent, and the man sat down. Then dates were brought to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Take this and give it in charity," meaning for the expiation. So the man said: "Upon someone poorer than me, O Messenger of Allah? By Allah, there is no household between its two banks poorer than me." "Its two banks" means the two banks of the city. There is no household poorer than me.
أن رجلاً جاء إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال: يا رسول الله هلكت قال ما أهلكك؟ قال: وقعت على امرأتي في رمضان وأنا صائم فسأله النبي عليه الصلاة والسلام هل يجد رقبة؟ قال: لا هل يستطيع أن يصوم شهرين متتابعين قال: لا هل يستطيع أن يطعم ستين مسكينا؟ قال: لا فسكت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم وجلس الرجل فجيء إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم بتمر فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: خذ هذا تصدق به يعني عن الكفارة فقال الرجل: أعلى أفقر مني يا رسول الله؟! والله ما بين لابتيها أهل بيت أفقر مني لابتيها يعني لابتي المدينة أهل بيت أفقر مني
Look, the man came in fear, but he (may Allah be pleased with him) had hope
He said that while they were sitting with the Prophet a man came to him and said, “Messenger of God, I am undone.” He asked him what had happened to him and he replied that he had had intercourse with his wife while he was fasting. God’s messenger then asked him whether he could get a slave to free, but he replied that he could not. He asked if he could fast two consecutive months, but he replied that he could not. He asked if he could provide food for sixty poor people, and when he replied that he could not, he told him to sit down. The Prophet then waited for a time, and meanwhile an ‘araq containing dates was brought to him, an ‘araq being a huge basket.* He asked where the man who had questioned him was, and when he replied, "[Here] I am," he said, "Take this and give it as sadaqa ." The man replied, “Am I to give it to one who is poorer than I am, messenger of God? I swear by God that there is no poorer family than mine between the two lava plains of Medina," i.e. the two harras . The Prophet thereupon laughed so that his eye-teeth became visible and said, "Give it to your family to eat." *In explaining the word 'araq the tradition calls it a hugh miktal . The miktal was a basket containing fifteen sa's . It is also said to have had double that capacity. (Bukhari and Muslim.)
قال أعلى أفقر مني فضحك النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ثم قال: أطعمه أهلك I wish we would call people to Allah in this manner. I think that if a man came to some of the zealous ones and asked, saying, "I had intercourse with my wife in Ramadan," what would he say? His neck veins would bulge, his hair would stand on end, his eyes would turn red, and he would start declaring, "Do you not fear Allah? How can you have intercourse during the day of Ramadan? Can you not hold back until night? Do you not fear your Lord?" And so on, he would be disturbed by it. There are some of the zealous who act this way. Is this manner that I described from the zealous a Shari'ah manner, or contrary to the Shari'ah? It is contrary to the Shari'ah, because it distinguishes between the defiant man and the remorseful man who came seeking relief. This man who had intercourse with his wife during the day of Ramadan came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). What did he want? Did he come flaunting what he did, or remorseful seeking relief? He was remorseful seeking relief. So we must distinguish between a person who is remorseful and comes seeking relief, saying to us, "Open a door for me so I can be relieved of what I fell into," and a person who is flaunting it. The flaunting person, perhaps we deal with him with severity, but the person who comes to us repentant, we deal with him as his condition requires. Perhaps you will pay attention to our saying, "If he has intercourse and he is..."
