If the intention behind speaking ill of a person is advice, it is not backbiting, with mention of the hadith of Fatimah bint Qays
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The Shaykh : But if a person intends advice through backbiting, there is nothing wrong with it, and the evidence for that is the hadith of فاطمة بنت قيس رضي الله عنها أنه خطبها ثلاثة رجال معاوية بن أبي سفيان وأبو جهم وأسامة بن زيد ثلاثة خطبوها فجاءت تستشير النبي صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وسلم تقول : إنه خطبها معاوية وأبو جهم وأسامة فقال لها : أما معاوية فصعلوك لا مال له يعني فقيرا والفقير قد يقصر على المرأة بالنفقة وقد تضيق به الدنيا لقلة ماله فيغضب على المرأة ولا يعاشرها المعاشرة الطيبة وأما أبو جهم فضراب للنساء يعني كثير الضرب للنساء ومعلوم أن المرأة لا تريد رجلا يكثر ضربها انكحي أسامة بن زيد وأسامة بن زيد مولى من الموالي لأن أباه زيد بن حارثة كان عبدا لخديجة رضي الله عنها فوهبته للنبي صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وسلم فأعتقه فكان أسامة مولى من الموالي قدمه النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم على رجال قريش لأن العبرة بالخلق والدين فتزوجت أسامة وحصلت منه على خير كثير. Fatimah bint Qays (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated that three men proposed to her: Mu'awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan, Abu Jahm, and Usamah ibn Zayd. She came to consult the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), saying: "Mu'awiyah, Abu Jahm, and Usamah have proposed to me." He said to her: "As for Mu'awiyah, he is a pauper with no wealth, meaning he is poor. A poor man may fall short in providing maintenance for his wife, and the world may become narrow for him due to his lack of wealth, causing him to become angry with his wife and not treat her with good companionship. As for Abu Jahm, he is a beater of women, meaning he frequently beats women. It is known that a woman does not want a man who frequently beats her. Marry Usamah ibn Zayd. Usamah ibn Zayd is a freedman among the freedmen, because his father, Zayd ibn Harithah, was a slave of Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her), who gifted him to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), so he freed him. Thus, Usamah was a freedman among the freedmen. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) preferred him over the men of Quraysh, because what matters is character and religion. She married Usamah and gained much good from him."
