Explanation of the Book of Marriage-08
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The Shaykh : And regarding Fatimah bint Qays (may Allah be pleased with her), that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to her: Narrated by Muslim.
Fatimah bint Qays is of pure Arab descent, and Usamah ibn Zayd ibn Harithah is originally Arab, but he was a freed slave who had been subjected to slavery. Khadijah gifted Zayd to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) along with his son Usamah. The Messenger freed him, so he had guardianship over him and his descendants, because when a person frees a slave, he acquires guardianship over him and his descendants as well. So the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) freed him. Usamah ibn Zayd was a freed slave, but the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) loved him and loved his father, even though he was a freed slave. He honored him in the Farewell Pilgrimage with an honor that no Arab had received. What was it? He placed him behind him on the mount before he placed al-Fadl ibn al-Abbas behind him. Because he placed Usamah behind him during his journey from 'Arafah to Muzdalifah, and he placed al-Fadl ibn al-Abbas behind him during his journey from Muzdalifah to Mina. The distance is short and the riding is later, so the riding of Usamah is longer than the riding of al-Fadl, and also earlier. The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) preferred him over all the Arabs.
Now, Usamah (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered Fatimah to marry him, because Fatimah came to consult him regarding three men who had proposed to her: Usamah ibn Zayd, the second: Abu Jahm, and the third: Mu'awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan. So the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said: And in another narration: Riyad as-Salihin 1533 This is what the second narration explains: Striking women is not desirable for women, is it not? And he said about Mu'awiyah: Sahih Muslim 1480a meaning: poor. And he said: She said: meaning: It became a source of joy for me by the blessing of the consultation of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). If someone were to ask: How could the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) say: Sahih Muslim 1480a when he did not know, perhaps he might be wealthy? And indeed, he was wealthy. What did he become?
The student: A caliph.
The Shaykh : He became a caliph, one of the greatest caliphs who boast about the world? So we say in answer to this: A very important benefit is taken from this, "And the criterion in matters is what is seen, not what is expected" - Pay attention to this beneficial rule - The criterion in matters is what?
The student: What is seen.
The Shaykh : What is seen, not what is expected. You are not obligated regarding a hidden matter, you are obligated regarding what is before you. And from this we know the answer to a question that occurs frequently: A man proposes to a committed woman, but he is not committed, and she wants to marry him and says: Perhaps Allah will guide him through me. Do you understand? Is this acting on what is expected or what is seen?
The student: What is expected.
The Shaykh : What is expected, we do not know. What is seen before us now is that he is not committed. So if she says: Perhaps Allah will guide him through me, we say: Perhaps Allah will mislead you through him, is it not? Everything is possible, and your being misled through him is closer than his being guided through you, because it is known that the authority of the man over the woman is stronger than her authority over him, is it not? And how many people are there who harass the wife when they want to, until they force her to fall into what they want, not what she wants. This is something observed and experienced. The most important thing for me is that we know that a person is obligated regarding what he sees, not what he expects. And branching from this beneficial rule: If a guardian of an orphan's wealth sees that it is in the interest to buy him a property, because real estate is rising, so he buys him a property for five hundred thousand, and after two or three years it drops to one hundred thousand, do we say to this man: You were negligent?
The student: No.
The Shaykh : Why?
The student: He looked at the current situation.
The Shaykh : Because a person has only the looking at the present, as for the future, its matter is with Allah. And if a person looked at the possibilities that might be in the future, he would do nothing, neither advancing nor delaying. But praise be to Allah:[Al-Baqarah 2:286].
Marry Usamah
انكحي أسامةFatimah bint Qays is of pure Arab descent, and Usamah ibn Zayd ibn Harithah is originally Arab, but he was a freed slave who had been subjected to slavery. Khadijah gifted Zayd to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) along with his son Usamah. The Messenger freed him, so he had guardianship over him and his descendants, because when a person frees a slave, he acquires guardianship over him and his descendants as well. So the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) freed him. Usamah ibn Zayd was a freed slave, but the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) loved him and loved his father, even though he was a freed slave. He honored him in the Farewell Pilgrimage with an honor that no Arab had received. What was it? He placed him behind him on the mount before he placed al-Fadl ibn al-Abbas behind him. Because he placed Usamah behind him during his journey from 'Arafah to Muzdalifah, and he placed al-Fadl ibn al-Abbas behind him during his journey from Muzdalifah to Mina. The distance is short and the riding is later, so the riding of Usamah is longer than the riding of al-Fadl, and also earlier. The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) preferred him over all the Arabs.
Now, Usamah (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered Fatimah to marry him, because Fatimah came to consult him regarding three men who had proposed to her: Usamah ibn Zayd, the second: Abu Jahm, and the third: Mu'awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan. So the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
As for Abu Jahm, he is a striker of women.
أما أبو جهم فضراب للنساءis very hard on women
فلا يضع العصا عن عاتقهA striker of women.
ضراب للنساءhe is a poor man having no property
صعلوك لا مال لهMarry Usamah
انكحي أسامةSo I married Usamah and was pleased with him.
فنكحت أسامة واغتبطت بهhe is a poor man having no property
معاوية صعلوك لا مال لهThe student: A caliph.
The Shaykh : He became a caliph, one of the greatest caliphs who boast about the world? So we say in answer to this: A very important benefit is taken from this, "And the criterion in matters is what is seen, not what is expected" - Pay attention to this beneficial rule - The criterion in matters is what?
The student: What is seen.
The Shaykh : What is seen, not what is expected. You are not obligated regarding a hidden matter, you are obligated regarding what is before you. And from this we know the answer to a question that occurs frequently: A man proposes to a committed woman, but he is not committed, and she wants to marry him and says: Perhaps Allah will guide him through me. Do you understand? Is this acting on what is expected or what is seen?
The student: What is expected.
The Shaykh : What is expected, we do not know. What is seen before us now is that he is not committed. So if she says: Perhaps Allah will guide him through me, we say: Perhaps Allah will mislead you through him, is it not? Everything is possible, and your being misled through him is closer than his being guided through you, because it is known that the authority of the man over the woman is stronger than her authority over him, is it not? And how many people are there who harass the wife when they want to, until they force her to fall into what they want, not what she wants. This is something observed and experienced. The most important thing for me is that we know that a person is obligated regarding what he sees, not what he expects. And branching from this beneficial rule: If a guardian of an orphan's wealth sees that it is in the interest to buy him a property, because real estate is rising, so he buys him a property for five hundred thousand, and after two or three years it drops to one hundred thousand, do we say to this man: You were negligent?
The student: No.
The Shaykh : Why?
The student: He looked at the current situation.
The Shaykh : Because a person has only the looking at the present, as for the future, its matter is with Allah. And if a person looked at the possibilities that might be in the future, he would do nothing, neither advancing nor delaying. But praise be to Allah: