A woman asks: Some committed women go to those who hold mourning gatherings to recite the Qur'an and complete its recitation, and sometimes they take money for this recitation. Is this...

The questioner : The questioner says: Some committed women go to those who hold mourning gatherings to recite the Qur'an and complete its recitation, and sometimes they take money for this recitation. Is this action correct?

The Shaykh : First, we must know—rest, my brother, rest—we must know that the purpose of condolence is to strengthen the bereaved to bear the calamity. Pay attention! Strengthening the bereaved to bear the calamity, that is condolence. In it is good and in it is reward, for it consoles the bereaved and helps him bear the calamity. But what some people do today in condolence is an innovation, contrary to the way of the righteous Salaf. They sit in the houses receiving people, and people come to them in groups from every direction. They may light torches, meaning the electricity, and set up chairs and tents to receive the condolers. They may also prepare food to feed those who attend from the condolers. The Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) considered gathering at the house of the deceased and preparing food to be wailing, and wailing is among the major sins. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the wailer and the one who listens to her. Wailing over the deceased may occur in this gathering, especially from the women, and wailing over the deceased causes the deceased to be punished in his grave. Pay attention, my brother! You are harming your deceased while you do not realize it. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: If you saw someone punishing your relative or your friend, you would defend your relative and your friend. So how can you be the cause of punishing this poor deceased in his grave? But this punishment is not a punishment of retribution, so it does not contradict the saying of Allah the Exalted: Rather, it is a punishment of suffering, just as one of us suffers from travel and its hardships. So this deceased is punished by the wailing of his family with a punishment of suffering, not a punishment of retribution. With this, the objection raised by some scholars against this hadith is resolved, which is the saying of Allah the Exalted: Some scholars even interpreted this hadith as applying to one who instructed his family to wail over him, or one whose custom was to wail over the deceased and he did not forbid them. But the correct view is that there is no need to restrict the text in this way. Rather, we say that punishment is of two types: a punishment of retribution, which only occurs for a sin, and a punishment of suffering, which can occur even for the action of another. Yes.

The questioner : May Allah reward you. He says:The questioner : We are from Nigeria...

The Shaykh : A minute. As for the gathering that includes reciting the Qur'an, that is even more reprehensible, because it makes the Qur'an a means, or it is recited in a state that was not the custom of the Salaf. If the reciter who is brought to recite does so for a fee, the matter is even more severe, because the reciter who recites for a fee has no reward; his reward is the money he has obtained. And if he has no reward, the deceased does not benefit from his recitation. Thus, in this recitation, there is a burden and a sin on the reciter, where he recites a recitation not seeking the Face of Allah, and it results in the waste of money. If it is from the estate and there are minors among the heirs, it is a crime against the property of the minors. For this reason, we advise our brothers who have been afflicted with this characteristic of condolence to fear Allah the Mighty and Majestic and to stop it. But a weak person may say, "If I left this thing, people would say this man does not love his father, or does not love his mother, or does not love his relative, and that would be a disgrace upon him." We say: Do not care about a disgrace that contradicts the Shari'ah, for your Lord says: About whom?
The student:

The Shaykh : And if you leave this in following the practices of the Salaf, that is from faith, and Allah defends you. You may become a leader of good, and those who follow you among the people will prevent this custom that contradicts the practice of the Salaf, and you will be their leader.
The Sunnah in condolence, if you see a man bereaved and affected by his calamity, whether it is the death of a relative, the loss of money, an accident, or something similar, is to bring to him evidence that makes him bear patience. The best formula for consoling the bereaved is what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to console one of his daughters when he sent a messenger to her and said: This is the best formula. We say to the bereaved: My brother, do not be grieved. The dominion belongs to whom? To Allah. So to Allah belongs what He took and to Him belongs what He gave. This destined thing came unexpectedly or came destined with a term that does not advance or delay. The first or the second?
The student: The second.

The Shaykh : The second. So the destined cannot be changed from what it was, no matter what. So what is required of you when the destined occurs is only patience, bearing, and counting the reward from Allah the Exalted. Therefore, if a person reflects a little, he will know that the destined can never be moved. For example, if your relative or your friend goes on a trip and an accident happens to him, do not say, "I wish he had not traveled" or "Why did he travel?" This is a written matter that cannot be changed no matter what the matter is. So what is required of you in the face of this occurring thing is only to be patient and count the reward from Allah the Mighty and Majestic. Yes.

The questioner : May Allah reward you. He says:The questioner : We are from Nigeria. We preceded the Kingdom in fasting by one day. What is...

The questioner : ...

The Shaykh : This is the crutch that the lame leans on, but it is not a crutch. The family of Ja'far was occupied with what occupied them. They were occupied with what occupied them, so the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said: And now, praise be to Allah, we do not have any bereaved who is occupied. If he needs food, he sends the youngest of the children to the restaurant and he brings every blessing. The ruling revolves with what? With its cause. So if these bereaved are not occupied, the cause for which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded has disappeared, so it is not an argument. Did the Messenger say, "Slaughter the sacrifices, offer the sacrifices, gather the scholars for the family of Ja'far"? Absolutely not, he did not say this. Yes.