I was breastfed by my paternal aunt, my father's sister, and my maternal cousin was also breastfed by her. Is there a kinship bond between me and my maternal cousin?
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The questioner : He says:The questioner : I was breastfed by my paternal aunt, my father's sister, and my maternal cousin was also breastfed by her. Is there a kinship bond between me and my maternal cousin?
The Shaykh : First, it must be known that breastfeeding has no effect unless it is five feedings, and it must be during the period of breastfeeding. Pay attention: five feedings during the period of breastfeeding. If it is four feedings? It has no effect. That is, if a child is breastfed by a woman four times, he does not become her son. It must be five feedings, based on the statement of Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her):Sahih Muslim 1452a Therefore, anything less than five feedings does not make marriage forbidden. It must also be during the period of breastfeeding, which is before the age of two years and before weaning. However, the scholars differed on whether breastfeeding is considered valid if the child is weaned before the age of two. Is breastfeeding after weaning considered valid or not? And if the two years have not passed before weaning, is what happens after the two years considered valid or not? Some scholars say the criterion is weaning, while others say the criterion is the two years, meaning that anything after the two years has no effect, while anything before them does. In any case, it is required that the breastfeeding be during the time of nursing. Breastfeeding an older person has no effect. That is, if a woman breastfeeds a seven-year-old boy who is eating food, he does not become her son, even if she breastfed him ten times, because the breastfeeding is not in its proper time. Therefore, two conditions are necessary: the first is that the number of feedings is five, and the second is that it is during the period of breastfeeding. Here, the problem that some people ask about is resolved. They say: If a man is breastfed by his wife's milk, does he become her son? What is the answer?
The student: No.
The Shaykh : Why?
The student: It is not during the period of breastfeeding.
The Shaykh : Good, it is not during the period of breastfeeding. Otherwise, if that were the case, it would be a problem. Every woman who does not want her husband would put a pot of milk for him every morning, and after five days she would say, "Praise be to Allah, I am now done with you! I am your mother through breastfeeding, and you are my son through breastfeeding, and you are forbidden to me!" But the breastfeeding must be during the period of breastfeeding. As for breastfeeding an older person, it has no effect. This is indicated by the fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Mishkat al-Masabih 3102 The *hamu* means a relative of the husband, meaning the husband's brother. If he enters upon his brother's wife, it is death. "Death" means flee from it. Do not allow your brother, your paternal uncle, or your maternal uncle to enter upon your wife, because the Messenger warned against it. He said: And do not allow your father or your grandfather to enter upon your wife. Do you agree with this?
The student: No.
The Shaykh : No, why?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : Because he is a *mahram*. A person's father is a *mahram* to his wife, and a person's grandfather, whether from the mother's side or the father's side, is a *mahram* to his wife. But his brother, his paternal uncle, his maternal uncle, his brother's son, and his paternal uncle's son are not *mahrams*. We must know that the matter is serious in this issue, even though some people, may Allah guide them, are lax about it. There are some people who have a young brother and a wife, and he leaves his house while his brother is with his wife. This is a great danger. How many trials have occurred because of this, and how many honors have been violated in such a situation? It is obligatory to be cautious about this matter.
So, breastfeeding requires two conditions. The first condition is that it is five feedings or more, and the second is that it is during the period of breastfeeding. Based on this, we say to this questioner who was breastfed by a woman, and whose maternal cousin was also breastfed by this woman, that it is not permissible for him to marry her, because he has become her brother through breastfeeding, provided that the number of feedings is five. Good, if he was breastfed by a woman five times, and the woman was breastfed by this woman four times, is she forbidden to him?
The student: No.
The Shaykh : Pay attention, O Shaykh! He was breastfed by the woman five times. Did he become her son or not?
The student: Yes.
The Shaykh : A woman was breastfed by this woman four times. Is it permissible for him to marry this woman?
The student: Yes.
The Shaykh : Why?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : Because the woman was breastfed four times, she does not become his sister. Good, if a man is breastfed by a woman who has children from a previous husband, and he is breastfed five times, and she has children from a previous husband, do the children from the previous husband become brothers to the one who was breastfed, or not?
The student: Yes.
The Shaykh : Brothers?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : Brothers?
The student: Yes.
The Shaykh : From the mother or from the father?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : Brothers from the mother. Yes, brothers from the mother. Even if he was breastfed by a woman, and she married another man after the first husband from whom he was breastfed, while she was still under his protection, and she gave birth to children from the second husband, do they become brothers to the one who was breastfed by her from the first husband? Yes, brothers from what? From the mother as well.
The Shaykh : First, it must be known that breastfeeding has no effect unless it is five feedings, and it must be during the period of breastfeeding. Pay attention: five feedings during the period of breastfeeding. If it is four feedings? It has no effect. That is, if a child is breastfed by a woman four times, he does not become her son. It must be five feedings, based on the statement of Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her):
it had been revealed in the Holy Qur'an that ten clear sucklings make the marriage unlawful, then it was abrogated (and substituted) by five sucklings
كان فيما أنزل من القرآن عشر رضعات معلومات يحرمن فنسخن بخمس رضعات معلوماتThe student: No.
The Shaykh : Why?
The student: It is not during the period of breastfeeding.
The Shaykh : Good, it is not during the period of breastfeeding. Otherwise, if that were the case, it would be a problem. Every woman who does not want her husband would put a pot of milk for him every morning, and after five days she would say, "Praise be to Allah, I am now done with you! I am your mother through breastfeeding, and you are my son through breastfeeding, and you are forbidden to me!" But the breastfeeding must be during the period of breastfeeding. As for breastfeeding an older person, it has no effect. This is indicated by the fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Avoid going in where women are.” A man said, “Messenger of God, tell me about the relatives of a woman’s husband,” to which he replied, “The relatives of a woman’s husband are death.”
إياكم والدخول على النساء، قالوا يا رسول الله أرأيت الحمو؟ قال: الحمو الموتThe relative is death
الحمو الموتThe student: No.
The Shaykh : No, why?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : Because he is a *mahram*. A person's father is a *mahram* to his wife, and a person's grandfather, whether from the mother's side or the father's side, is a *mahram* to his wife. But his brother, his paternal uncle, his maternal uncle, his brother's son, and his paternal uncle's son are not *mahrams*. We must know that the matter is serious in this issue, even though some people, may Allah guide them, are lax about it. There are some people who have a young brother and a wife, and he leaves his house while his brother is with his wife. This is a great danger. How many trials have occurred because of this, and how many honors have been violated in such a situation? It is obligatory to be cautious about this matter.
So, breastfeeding requires two conditions. The first condition is that it is five feedings or more, and the second is that it is during the period of breastfeeding. Based on this, we say to this questioner who was breastfed by a woman, and whose maternal cousin was also breastfed by this woman, that it is not permissible for him to marry her, because he has become her brother through breastfeeding, provided that the number of feedings is five. Good, if he was breastfed by a woman five times, and the woman was breastfed by this woman four times, is she forbidden to him?
The student: No.
The Shaykh : Pay attention, O Shaykh! He was breastfed by the woman five times. Did he become her son or not?
The student: Yes.
The Shaykh : A woman was breastfed by this woman four times. Is it permissible for him to marry this woman?
The student: Yes.
The Shaykh : Why?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : Because the woman was breastfed four times, she does not become his sister. Good, if a man is breastfed by a woman who has children from a previous husband, and he is breastfed five times, and she has children from a previous husband, do the children from the previous husband become brothers to the one who was breastfed, or not?
The student: Yes.
The Shaykh : Brothers?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : Brothers?
The student: Yes.
The Shaykh : From the mother or from the father?
The student: ...
The Shaykh : Brothers from the mother. Yes, brothers from the mother. Even if he was breastfed by a woman, and she married another man after the first husband from whom he was breastfed, while she was still under his protection, and she gave birth to children from the second husband, do they become brothers to the one who was breastfed by her from the first husband? Yes, brothers from what? From the mother as well.