A woman asks: Is it permissible for a woman to request a divorce from her husband if he wants to marry another woman, because she cannot bear to sit with him, and she says
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The questioner : He asks: Is it permissible for a woman to request a divorce from her husband if her husband wants to marry another woman, because she cannot bear to sit with him, and she says: I have a sense of dignity that prevents me from staying with him? Is she sinful? And what is the ruling of the Shari'ah in this matter?
The Shaykh : I say: It is befitting for this woman to help her husband with the mahr, the mahr of the second wife, because that is what is befitting. If a man is confident in his own justice, confident in his physical ability, and confident in his financial ability, then plural marriage is a desirable matter.
We encourage the youth to marry more than one woman: one, two, three, or four.
And if Allah grants a sign, we say: Take as much of the sign as you wish, so that the children increase and the offspring of the ummah (the Muslim community) increase, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:.
So my advice to this sister who is asking, and my counsel to her, is to help her husband with what he desires. If she has some money, let her help him with her money, and let her prepare herself for patience and seeking reward. Perhaps if he marries, the matter will become easier for her. But they say: If a man marries a second woman over the first, jealousy arises in her heart. But if he marries a third over the two, the jealousy disappears. And at that point, we have a remedy, which is that he marries a third woman.
I say this is not a matter of jest, but a matter of seriousness. This is a reality: a woman becomes jealous if she has one co-wife, and her jealousy diminishes when a third co-wife comes. How is that? She says: Since he has taken a co-wife over my co-wife who came to me and caused me distress, as you claim, this makes it easier for me, because sharing your sorrow with another makes the sorrow easier for you. For this reason, Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) said:[Az-Zukhruf 43:39] - what is it? - [Az-Zukhruf 43:39]. But in this world, if the wrongdoers share in the punishment, it becomes easier for them. Yes. And Al-Khansa says in elegy for her brother Sakhr, she says:
"And were it not for the many mourners around me *** for their brothers, I would have killed myself
And they weep not like my brother, but *** I console my soul for him by taking comfort. Yes.
The student: ... .
The Shaykh : Yes, what is it? The two verses.
The student: Encourage the women to this.
The Shaykh : There is nothing more than this.
The Shaykh : I say: It is befitting for this woman to help her husband with the mahr, the mahr of the second wife, because that is what is befitting. If a man is confident in his own justice, confident in his physical ability, and confident in his financial ability, then plural marriage is a desirable matter.
We encourage the youth to marry more than one woman: one, two, three, or four.
And if Allah grants a sign, we say: Take as much of the sign as you wish, so that the children increase and the offspring of the ummah (the Muslim community) increase, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Marry women who are loving and fertile, for I shall be boasting of your numbers before the nations.
تزوجوا الودود الولود فإني مكاثر بكمSo my advice to this sister who is asking, and my counsel to her, is to help her husband with what he desires. If she has some money, let her help him with her money, and let her prepare herself for patience and seeking reward. Perhaps if he marries, the matter will become easier for her. But they say: If a man marries a second woman over the first, jealousy arises in her heart. But if he marries a third over the two, the jealousy disappears. And at that point, we have a remedy, which is that he marries a third woman.
I say this is not a matter of jest, but a matter of seriousness. This is a reality: a woman becomes jealous if she has one co-wife, and her jealousy diminishes when a third co-wife comes. How is that? She says: Since he has taken a co-wife over my co-wife who came to me and caused me distress, as you claim, this makes it easier for me, because sharing your sorrow with another makes the sorrow easier for you. For this reason, Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) said:
And never will it benefit you that Day, when you have wronged
ولن ينفعكم اليوم إذ ظلمتمthat you are [all] sharing in the punishment.
أنكم في العذاب مشتركون"And were it not for the many mourners around me *** for their brothers, I would have killed myself
And they weep not like my brother, but *** I console my soul for him by taking comfort. Yes.
The student: ... .
The Shaykh : Yes, what is it? The two verses.
The student: Encourage the women to this.
The Shaykh : There is nothing more than this.