A man who is not undutiful to his parents, praise be to Allah, and has found nothing from them but good, but he does not have the celebration or long sitting with them, while they are pleased with him, so is there anything upon him?
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The questioner : I am not undutiful to my parents, praise be to Allah, and this is from His favor upon me, and they have found nothing from me but all good, but I do not have the complete celebration with them or long sitting with them, and they are completely pleased with me, so is there anything upon me in this?
The Shaykh : Yes. The answer to this is that we say the status of a person, or rather his treatment of his parents, is on three levels. The first level is undutifulness, may Allah protect us from it, by cutting off their right and not fulfilling what Allah has made obligatory for them. This is upon him the sin of the undutiful one. It is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that undutifulness is among the greatest of major sins, as in the hadith of Abu Bakrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan al-Bayhaqi 18:65.
The second level is dutifulness to them by giving financial, physical, and social kindness, going out with them, being happy to see them, being open with them, and the like of these types of dutifulness. This is in the highest degree, and he has the reward of the dutiful one.
The third level is in between; he is not dutiful and he is not undutiful. So it is not said that he is dutiful, so he does not attain the reward of dutifulness, and it is not said that he is one who cuts off ties, so he does not attain the sin of cutting off ties. But this is a bad state. And this questioner, we see that he is above the middle level and is closer to dutifulness. But we encourage him to make his dutifulness higher and more complete than what he mentioned about himself. Then, the pleasure of his parents with him is a blessing from Allah upon him.
The questioner : Praise be to Allah.
The Shaykh : That they forgave him in this dutifulness which is considered incomplete dutifulness, and we ask Allah the Exalted to help him to complete his dutifulness.
The questioner : O Allah, amen.
The Shaykh : And that He reward his parents for him with good.
The questioner : Amen.
The Shaykh : Since they accepted from him what was easy.
The questioner : O Allah, amen.
The Shaykh : And from here we mention that it is obligatory for every person who deals with a person and is his companion to take from him what is easy and to forgive what is difficult, in accordance with the saying of Allah the Exalted:[Al-A'raf 7:199]
And if a person follows this way and takes from the morals and dealings of people what is easy and overlooks what is difficult, he will attain the pleasure of everyone, his heart will be at ease, his chest will be open, and if you try it, you will find it so. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you. Your Eminence, this listener M A S says.
The Shaykh : Yes. The answer to this is that we say the status of a person, or rather his treatment of his parents, is on three levels. The first level is undutifulness, may Allah protect us from it, by cutting off their right and not fulfilling what Allah has made obligatory for them. This is upon him the sin of the undutiful one. It is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that undutifulness is among the greatest of major sins, as in the hadith of Abu Bakrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Shall I inform you of the greatest of the major sins? Associating partners with Allah, and undutifulness to parents
ألا أنبئكم بأكبر الكبائر؟ الإشراك بالله، وعقوق الوالدينThe second level is dutifulness to them by giving financial, physical, and social kindness, going out with them, being happy to see them, being open with them, and the like of these types of dutifulness. This is in the highest degree, and he has the reward of the dutiful one.
The third level is in between; he is not dutiful and he is not undutiful. So it is not said that he is dutiful, so he does not attain the reward of dutifulness, and it is not said that he is one who cuts off ties, so he does not attain the sin of cutting off ties. But this is a bad state. And this questioner, we see that he is above the middle level and is closer to dutifulness. But we encourage him to make his dutifulness higher and more complete than what he mentioned about himself. Then, the pleasure of his parents with him is a blessing from Allah upon him.
The questioner : Praise be to Allah.
The Shaykh : That they forgave him in this dutifulness which is considered incomplete dutifulness, and we ask Allah the Exalted to help him to complete his dutifulness.
The questioner : O Allah, amen.
The Shaykh : And that He reward his parents for him with good.
The questioner : Amen.
The Shaykh : Since they accepted from him what was easy.
The questioner : O Allah, amen.
The Shaykh : And from here we mention that it is obligatory for every person who deals with a person and is his companion to take from him what is easy and to forgive what is difficult, in accordance with the saying of Allah the Exalted:
Take what is given freely, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.
خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِينَAnd if a person follows this way and takes from the morals and dealings of people what is easy and overlooks what is difficult, he will attain the pleasure of everyone, his heart will be at ease, his chest will be open, and if you try it, you will find it so. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you. Your Eminence, this listener M A S says.