A married woman whose husband is an old man and has fathered children with her, but he does not care for her and does not spend much time with her
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The questioner : She says that she is married to an old man who has fathered children with her, but she says he does not care for her and does not sit with her much; rather, he goes to his second wife. Also, he does not give her sufficient expenses. Is it permissible for her to boycott him, knowing that he prays and fasts? We ask the honorable Shaykh for an answer?
The Shaykh : First, she should advise him and remind him of Allah (Mighty and Majestic), and make it clear to him that the danger of injustice is great. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan Abi Dawud 2133Sahih (Al-Albani) She should also make it clear that she will not waive her right, which is obligatory upon him. Perhaps he will be deterred if he is reminded of Allah and reminded that a woman does not waive the squandering of her right. Nevertheless, I say to this woman: Be patient with him and seek reward from Allah (Mighty and Majestic), and fulfill your duty to him, for fulfilling the duty of a husband is a form of mindfulness of Allah (Mighty and Majestic). And Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) said: [At-Talaq 65:4] And He said: [At-Talaq 65:2-3]
Meeting aggression with aggression and negligence with negligence may only increase the severity of the matter. I fear that if this woman meets her husband with the same injustice and oppression with which he treats her, a complete rupture will occur between them, he will become fed up with her, and then he will divorce her. In that case, the family will be scattered and the household will be torn apart, which is contrary to what the Shari'ah aims for in terms of unity and agreement.
The questioner : May Allah reward you. This questioner is from Sudan, Salah Dawud, says: Honorable Shaykh.
The Shaykh : First, she should advise him and remind him of Allah (Mighty and Majestic), and make it clear to him that the danger of injustice is great. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.
من كانت له امرأتان فمال إلى إحداهما جاء يوم القيامة وشقه مائلAnd whoever fears Allah - He will make for him of his matter ease.
وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِ يُسْرًاAnd whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out (3) And will provide for him from where he does not expect.
وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا * وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لا يَحْتَسِبُMeeting aggression with aggression and negligence with negligence may only increase the severity of the matter. I fear that if this woman meets her husband with the same injustice and oppression with which he treats her, a complete rupture will occur between them, he will become fed up with her, and then he will divorce her. In that case, the family will be scattered and the household will be torn apart, which is contrary to what the Shari'ah aims for in terms of unity and agreement.
The questioner : May Allah reward you. This questioner is from Sudan, Salah Dawud, says: Honorable Shaykh.