Her final question: She says her husband is married to another woman from Egypt who has borne him a son. He travels to her every month and prefers her over her, saying she is better than you.
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The questioner : Her final question: She says her husband is married to another woman from Egypt who has borne him a son. He travels to her every month and prefers her over her, saying she is better than you and kinder than you. He is married to her in a customary marriage and tells her, “I will bring her here; she is the first and you are the second.” Should she leave him and leave her children and abandon the house to him and his wife, or not?
The Shaykh : If this man, as you described, has married this woman in a customary marriage that does not meet the conditions of the Shari'ah, then his marriage to her is forbidden and invalid, and he must separate from her. However, if his marriage to her is in accordance with the rules of the Shari'ah, then his marriage to her is valid. The fact that he prefers her over you, praises her in front of you, and embarrasses you is a harm that falls upon him, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan Abi Dawud 2133Sahih (Al-Albani) So let this man and those like him, who prefer some wives over others, beware of this warning.
As for you, it is better for you to be patient and seek reward from Allah in order to preserve your children, protect them, and raise them. For if you leave, the husband may take control by demanding that they remain with him, and at that time there will be problems, lawsuits, and matters that are not appropriate. So be patient and seek reward, and you do not know what may happen; perhaps the outcome will be in your favor. And success is from Allah.
The questioner : Thank you, may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : If this man, as you described, has married this woman in a customary marriage that does not meet the conditions of the Shari'ah, then his marriage to her is forbidden and invalid, and he must separate from her. However, if his marriage to her is in accordance with the rules of the Shari'ah, then his marriage to her is valid. The fact that he prefers her over you, praises her in front of you, and embarrasses you is a harm that falls upon him, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.
من كان له امرأتان فمال إلى إحداهما، جاء يوم القيامة وشقه مائلAs for you, it is better for you to be patient and seek reward from Allah in order to preserve your children, protect them, and raise them. For if you leave, the husband may take control by demanding that they remain with him, and at that time there will be problems, lawsuits, and matters that are not appropriate. So be patient and seek reward, and you do not know what may happen; perhaps the outcome will be in your favor. And success is from Allah.
The questioner : Thank you, may Allah reward you.