A man promised a group of women that he would marry one of them, but circumstances did not allow him to do so. Is there any blame on him or not?
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The questioner : I am sending you my message and I ask for clarification, as I promised a group of women that I would marry one of them, but circumstances did not allow me to do so. Is there any blame on me or not? Please advise me; may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : If a man proposes to a group of women or promises them that he will marry one of them.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Then if he decides not to do it, there is no blame on him for withdrawing from them. This is the secret behind the fact that a person should look at the woman before proposing to her, and she should look at him, as this is more likely to lead to lasting harmony between them. If he looks at her and she does not please him, he may leave her. But if he sees that he should compensate her and her family with some money, that is good. This is not obligatory upon him, nor do I know of any recommended practice (sunnah) regarding it. However, I say from my own opinion that if he sees that he should appease them, especially if they are poor, with some money, that is good, because it is an act of excellence in worship (ihsan), and Allah loves those who do good. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you. The listener is Manal 'Abd Allah from Jordan, and she says.
The Shaykh : If a man proposes to a group of women or promises them that he will marry one of them.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Then if he decides not to do it, there is no blame on him for withdrawing from them. This is the secret behind the fact that a person should look at the woman before proposing to her, and she should look at him, as this is more likely to lead to lasting harmony between them. If he looks at her and she does not please him, he may leave her. But if he sees that he should compensate her and her family with some money, that is good. This is not obligatory upon him, nor do I know of any recommended practice (sunnah) regarding it. However, I say from my own opinion that if he sees that he should appease them, especially if they are poor, with some money, that is good, because it is an act of excellence in worship (ihsan), and Allah loves those who do good. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you. The listener is Manal 'Abd Allah from Jordan, and she says.