I have heard many statements and opinions regarding the suitor seeing his prospective bride
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : I have heard many statements and opinions regarding the suitor seeing his prospective bride. Some say: it is permissible. Some are cautious about it by requiring the presence of the guardian, and some rely on the view of one of the close female relatives. Is it permissible for the suitor to see his prospective bride before the marriage contract is concluded? I ask for your guidance on the ruling in this matter, may Allah preserve you, and may Allah reward you with the best reward, and peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and his Companions, and those who follow them in excellence until the Day of Resurrection. The answer to this question is that we say: Yes, it is permissible for the suitor to see his prospective bride, but with conditions. The first condition: that he needs to see her. If there is no need, the default is to prevent a man from looking at a woman who is a stranger to him, based on the saying of Allah the Exalted:[An-Nur 24:30].
Second: that he must be determined to propose. If he is hesitating, he should not look. But if he is determined, he looks, and then either he proceeds or he refrains.
Third: that the looking must be without seclusion. That is, it is required that one of her mahrams be present with him, such as her father, her brother, her paternal uncle, or her maternal uncle. This is because seclusion with a woman who is a stranger is forbidden, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Sahih al-Bukhari 5233 And he said (peace and blessings be upon him): Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1171Sahih (Darussalam) They said: O Messenger of Allah! What about the in-laws? He said: .
Fourth: that it must be predominant in his mind that her family will accept the proposal, or rather, that it must be predominant in his mind that she or her family will accept. If that is not predominant in his mind, then the looking here is of no benefit, because he will not be accepted in marrying this woman whether he looks at her or not.
Some scholars have stipulated that his desire should not be aroused when looking, and that his intention should be merely to inquire. If his desire is aroused, he must refrain from looking. This is because the woman, before the contract is concluded, is not a place for taking pleasure in looking at her, so he must refrain. Then, in this case, it is required that the woman come to the suitor in her usual manner. That is, she should not come adorned in clothes or beautifying her face with various types of adornment, because she was not his wife before. Then, if she comes to him in an adorned state, wearing her best clothes, a person might proceed to marry her because she dazzled him at first. But when we return to the realities later, we find that the matter is contrary to what he first encountered. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you. The listener Ibrahim says that he...
The Shaykh : And upon you be peace, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and his Companions, and those who follow them in excellence until the Day of Resurrection. The answer to this question is that we say: Yes, it is permissible for the suitor to see his prospective bride, but with conditions. The first condition: that he needs to see her. If there is no need, the default is to prevent a man from looking at a woman who is a stranger to him, based on the saying of Allah the Exalted:
Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts
قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْSecond: that he must be determined to propose. If he is hesitating, he should not look. But if he is determined, he looks, and then either he proceeds or he refrains.
Third: that the looking must be without seclusion. That is, it is required that one of her mahrams be present with him, such as her father, her brother, her paternal uncle, or her maternal uncle. This is because seclusion with a woman who is a stranger is forbidden, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
No man should stay with a lady in seclusion except in the presence of a Dhu- Muhram.
لا يخلون رجل بامرأة إلا مع ذي محرمBeware of entering upon women.
إياكم والدخول على النساءThe relative is death
الحمو الموتFourth: that it must be predominant in his mind that her family will accept the proposal, or rather, that it must be predominant in his mind that she or her family will accept. If that is not predominant in his mind, then the looking here is of no benefit, because he will not be accepted in marrying this woman whether he looks at her or not.
Some scholars have stipulated that his desire should not be aroused when looking, and that his intention should be merely to inquire. If his desire is aroused, he must refrain from looking. This is because the woman, before the contract is concluded, is not a place for taking pleasure in looking at her, so he must refrain. Then, in this case, it is required that the woman come to the suitor in her usual manner. That is, she should not come adorned in clothes or beautifying her face with various types of adornment, because she was not his wife before. Then, if she comes to him in an adorned state, wearing her best clothes, a person might proceed to marry her because she dazzled him at first. But when we return to the realities later, we find that the matter is contrary to what he first encountered. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you. The listener Ibrahim says that he...