Guidance on the suitor seeing his prospective bride
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Question:
Your Eminence, Shaykh Abdul Aziz! May Allah preserve you. Perhaps you have some guidance regarding the suitor seeing his prospective bride, and what is prescribed in this matter?
Answer:
It is a recommended practice (sunnah) for the suitor to see the prospective bride. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to the man who asked him: He said: No. He said: And he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah 6:1350 It is a recommended practice (sunnah) because it helps in either developing desire or dispelling it.
So, it is a recommended practice (sunnah) for a believer who intends to marry to see her. He should make an effort and ask for permission, hoping they will allow him to see her, or he may see her even if they are not aware, if it is in a place where he can see her... without seclusion (khalwah), or at her neighbors' place, or something similar. He looks at her, but without seclusion, in the presence of her father, or her mother, or her brother, or others, or he looks at her from a distance through a gap, or at a door, or something similar... Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) said, when he wanted to propose to a woman: "I hid myself until I saw of her what prompted me to marry her."
So, the point is: he does what he can. If he is able to ask for permission from her father, or her grandfather, or her brother so that he can see her; there is no harm, this is more complete. And if that does not become easy; he asks those who know her, until it is as if he has seen her. He asks them and seeks details. And if he sees her without their knowledge, from a door opening, or at the neighbors' place; there is no blame on him, but without seclusion. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh.
Your Eminence, Shaykh Abdul Aziz! May Allah preserve you. Perhaps you have some guidance regarding the suitor seeing his prospective bride, and what is prescribed in this matter?
Answer:
It is a recommended practice (sunnah) for the suitor to see the prospective bride. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to the man who asked him:
Have you looked at her?
أنظرت إليها؟Go and look at her
اذهب فانظر إليهاWhen one of you proposes to a woman, if he is able to look at what would incline him to marry her, let him do so.
إذا خطب أحدكم المرأة، فإن استطاع أن ينظر منها إلى ما يدعوه إلى نكاحها؛ فليفعلSo, it is a recommended practice (sunnah) for a believer who intends to marry to see her. He should make an effort and ask for permission, hoping they will allow him to see her, or he may see her even if they are not aware, if it is in a place where he can see her... without seclusion (khalwah), or at her neighbors' place, or something similar. He looks at her, but without seclusion, in the presence of her father, or her mother, or her brother, or others, or he looks at her from a distance through a gap, or at a door, or something similar... Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) said, when he wanted to propose to a woman: "I hid myself until I saw of her what prompted me to marry her."
So, the point is: he does what he can. If he is able to ask for permission from her father, or her grandfather, or her brother so that he can see her; there is no harm, this is more complete. And if that does not become easy; he asks those who know her, until it is as if he has seen her. He asks them and seeks details. And if he sees her without their knowledge, from a door opening, or at the neighbors' place; there is no blame on him, but without seclusion. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.