What should a student of knowledge do if his parents ask him to do something in which the scholars differ on the ruling, such as imported meats or women visiting graves?
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The questioner : You know, may Allah preserve you, that many of the disputed issues in the books of the scholars, may Allah have mercy on them, often have much disagreement, and it may be difficult to verify the truth in them. Question: The mother or father may ask their son for some matters in which the scholars differ. What should the student do in a matter that he does not consider the stronger position, while he is a student of knowledge?
The Shaykh : For example.
The questioner : There are many examples of this, such as imported meats, for instance.
The Shaykh : Ah.
The questioner : Such as imported meats, where there has been disagreement regarding the permissibility of eating them or not eating them, for example, or visiting graves.
The Shaykh : The parents say: "Bring us some of this meat," or do they say: "Do not answer?"
The questioner : They say: "Bring us some of it."
The Shaykh : And he does not want to.
The questioner : For example, yes.
The Shaykh : Well, this is easy, this is not a problem. They say: "Do you mean eating meat? We will bring you meat."
The questioner : He does not want that type.
The Shaykh : He brings them another type.
The questioner : No, the type, may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : Whatever contradicts it, he brings a second one.
The questioner : He does not want the type in which there was disagreement.
The Shaykh : He does not contradict the type in which there was disagreement, which is brought to the country from abroad, yes.
The questioner : Yes
The Shaykh : If the parents say: "We do not want it."
The questioner : They do not want it.
The Shaykh : Well, we want it. He says: "You want meat? We will bring you something else in its place."
The questioner : They do not want something else in its place.
The Shaykh : They do not want anything else?
The questioner : No, that is the question, may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : And if he brings ordinary meat from local chickens, will they refrain from eating it?
The questioner : They do not refrain, but they want this and that; sometimes they want that. It happens, it happens.
The Shaykh : He brings them sheep meat... and what is the problem.
The questioner : If it were done this way, there is no harm, but sometimes they want this, they are satisfied with this one time, and another time they want that.
The Shaykh : A wise person can get out of this, but the issue of graves comes up, visiting graves, visiting graves.
The questioner : Visiting graves.
The Shaykh : If he believes that it is not permissible for a woman to visit the cemetery, and she refuses and her mother asks her to visit, he does not take her, because Allah said:[Luqman 31:15] So every sin requested by the father or mother is measured by this, and they are not to be obeyed in it. Mishkat al-Masabih 3696 But there are things, as I mentioned, where the child and the parents may differ. In this case, there is no harm in giving them what is disputed, but he himself does not do it.
The questioner : ...
The Shaykh : He does not do it.
The questioner : He did not do it, but he wants to please his mother.
The Shaykh : He does not give it to the mother alone; as for him, he does not do it.
The questioner : Meaning, is it permissible for her?
The Shaykh : Yes, because it is permissible for her. Otherwise, there is a problem here, different from this. For example, there is one who says: "My father considers smoking permissible, while I consider it forbidden." His father says to him: "Go, my son, here are ten riyals, buy some tobacco with them." This is a problem because he considers it forbidden and the father considers it lawful.
The questioner : This is... serious.
The Shaykh : No, this is one of the most difficult. And the father may not have money and say: "Buy it for me from your money."
The questioner : And the like of it is qat, may Allah reward you, and similar things?
The Shaykh : And the like of it is qat among the people of Yemen, yes.
The questioner : ... .
The Shaykh : For example.
The questioner : There are many examples of this, such as imported meats, for instance.
The Shaykh : Ah.
The questioner : Such as imported meats, where there has been disagreement regarding the permissibility of eating them or not eating them, for example, or visiting graves.
The Shaykh : The parents say: "Bring us some of this meat," or do they say: "Do not answer?"
The questioner : They say: "Bring us some of it."
The Shaykh : And he does not want to.
The questioner : For example, yes.
The Shaykh : Well, this is easy, this is not a problem. They say: "Do you mean eating meat? We will bring you meat."
The questioner : He does not want that type.
The Shaykh : He brings them another type.
The questioner : No, the type, may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : Whatever contradicts it, he brings a second one.
The questioner : He does not want the type in which there was disagreement.
The Shaykh : He does not contradict the type in which there was disagreement, which is brought to the country from abroad, yes.
The questioner : Yes
The Shaykh : If the parents say: "We do not want it."
The questioner : They do not want it.
The Shaykh : Well, we want it. He says: "You want meat? We will bring you something else in its place."
The questioner : They do not want something else in its place.
The Shaykh : They do not want anything else?
The questioner : No, that is the question, may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : And if he brings ordinary meat from local chickens, will they refrain from eating it?
The questioner : They do not refrain, but they want this and that; sometimes they want that. It happens, it happens.
The Shaykh : He brings them sheep meat... and what is the problem.
The questioner : If it were done this way, there is no harm, but sometimes they want this, they are satisfied with this one time, and another time they want that.
The Shaykh : A wise person can get out of this, but the issue of graves comes up, visiting graves, visiting graves.
The questioner : Visiting graves.
The Shaykh : If he believes that it is not permissible for a woman to visit the cemetery, and she refuses and her mother asks her to visit, he does not take her, because Allah said:
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them
وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلا تُطِعْهُمَاA creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the "Creator.”
ولا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالقThe questioner : ...
The Shaykh : He does not do it.
The questioner : He did not do it, but he wants to please his mother.
The Shaykh : He does not give it to the mother alone; as for him, he does not do it.
The questioner : Meaning, is it permissible for her?
The Shaykh : Yes, because it is permissible for her. Otherwise, there is a problem here, different from this. For example, there is one who says: "My father considers smoking permissible, while I consider it forbidden." His father says to him: "Go, my son, here are ten riyals, buy some tobacco with them." This is a problem because he considers it forbidden and the father considers it lawful.
The questioner : This is... serious.
The Shaykh : No, this is one of the most difficult. And the father may not have money and say: "Buy it for me from your money."
The questioner : And the like of it is qat, may Allah reward you, and similar things?
The Shaykh : And the like of it is qat among the people of Yemen, yes.
The questioner : ... .