What is the wisdom in preventing women from visiting graves?
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The questioner : What is the wisdom in preventing women from visiting graves?
The Shaykh : Yes. I say that your understanding is good, in that you understood from my statement that visiting graves is a recommended practice (sunnah) for men, that visiting graves is not prescribed for women, and that is the case. It is not recommended for a woman to visit graves; rather, the stronger opinion among the scholars is that her visiting graves is forbidden, and indeed it is one of the major sins. This is because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed those who visit graves, and cursing is expulsion and distance from the mercy of Allah. Cursing does not occur except for a great sin, and for this reason the scholars made it a sign of a major sin that a curse is attached to it, because it is a severe punishment, and a severe punishment does not occur except for a great sin. However, if a woman passes by a cemetery, there is no blame on her if she stops and makes supplication for the people in the graves. As for her going out of her house with the intention of visiting, that is what is forbidden. The wisdom in this is that there are harms in women visiting graves, among which is that a woman is weak and strong in emotion, so she may not be able to bear it when she stands at the grave of a relative, such as her mother or father or the like, and be patient. If she does not have patience, she will experience crying, wailing, and lamentation that will be harmful to her in her religion and her body.
And among the harms is that if she is permitted to visit and goes out to the cemetery, and the cemetery is usually empty of living people, then the open sinners and people of lewdness may take advantage of her in this empty place, and harm and corruption may befall her. And among the harms is that if a woman goes out of her house to the cemetery, and as I mentioned earlier, she is strong in emotion and weak in resolve, she may make this a habit for herself, and thereby she will neglect the interests of her religion and her worldly affairs, and she will keep herself attached to this visit. Even if the only wisdom were that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed those who visit graves, that would be sufficient to be cautious about visiting graves and to stay away from them, because when Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) decrees a matter in His Book or on the tongue of His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), then that is the wisdom, as He said:[Al-Ahzab 33:36] Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was asked, "What is the reason that a menstruating woman makes up the fast but does not make up the prayer?" She said, "That used to happen to us, and we were ordered to make up the fast but not ordered to make up the prayer." This indicates that the entire wisdom is to obey the command of Allah and His Messenger and to avoid the prohibition of Allah and His Messenger. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : Yes. I say that your understanding is good, in that you understood from my statement that visiting graves is a recommended practice (sunnah) for men, that visiting graves is not prescribed for women, and that is the case. It is not recommended for a woman to visit graves; rather, the stronger opinion among the scholars is that her visiting graves is forbidden, and indeed it is one of the major sins. This is because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed those who visit graves, and cursing is expulsion and distance from the mercy of Allah. Cursing does not occur except for a great sin, and for this reason the scholars made it a sign of a major sin that a curse is attached to it, because it is a severe punishment, and a severe punishment does not occur except for a great sin. However, if a woman passes by a cemetery, there is no blame on her if she stops and makes supplication for the people in the graves. As for her going out of her house with the intention of visiting, that is what is forbidden. The wisdom in this is that there are harms in women visiting graves, among which is that a woman is weak and strong in emotion, so she may not be able to bear it when she stands at the grave of a relative, such as her mother or father or the like, and be patient. If she does not have patience, she will experience crying, wailing, and lamentation that will be harmful to her in her religion and her body.
And among the harms is that if she is permitted to visit and goes out to the cemetery, and the cemetery is usually empty of living people, then the open sinners and people of lewdness may take advantage of her in this empty place, and harm and corruption may befall her. And among the harms is that if a woman goes out of her house to the cemetery, and as I mentioned earlier, she is strong in emotion and weak in resolve, she may make this a habit for herself, and thereby she will neglect the interests of her religion and her worldly affairs, and she will keep herself attached to this visit. Even if the only wisdom were that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed those who visit graves, that would be sufficient to be cautious about visiting graves and to stay away from them, because when Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) decrees a matter in His Book or on the tongue of His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), then that is the wisdom, as He said:
It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair
وَمَا كَانَ لِمُؤْمِنٍ وَلا مُؤْمِنَةٍ إِذَا قَضَى اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَمْرًا أَنْ يَكُونَ لَهُمُ الْخِيَرَةُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِمْThe questioner : May Allah bless you.