The Ruling on Obedience to Parents in Matters of Scholarly Disagreement
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
You know, may Allah preserve you, that in many of the matters of scholarly disagreement found in the books of the scholars, may Allah have mercy on them, disagreement is often frequent, and it may sometimes be difficult to determine the truth in them. Question: A mother or father may ask their son for certain things in which there is disagreement among the scholars. What should the son do in a matter that he does not consider the stronger position, especially if he is a student of knowledge?The Shaykh: For example?The questioner: There are many examples of this, such as imported meats, for instance, where there has been disagreement regarding the permissibility of eating them or not eating them, and such as visiting graves.
The Shaykh: The parents say: Get us some of this meat.Or they say: Do not bring it?The questioner: They say: Bring us some of it.
The Shaykh: And he does not want to.
The questioner: Yes.
This is easy; this is not a problem.He says: Your intention is to eat meat, so we will bring you meat.
The questioner: No, he wants this specific type.
The Shaykh: He does not oppose them; he brings a second type.
The questioner: No, he wants the type about which there is disagreement.
The Shaykh: He does not oppose them; the type about which there is disagreement is the one imported from abroad into the country.If the parents say: We want it.He says: You want meat, so we will bring you a substitute.
The questioner: They do not want a substitute.
The Shaykh: And if he brings ordinary meat from local chickens, will they refuse to eat it?The questioner: They do not refuse, but they want this and that; sometimes they want that, and sometimes they want what is available.
The Shaykh: He brings them lamb meat, and there is no problem with that.
The questioner: If it were to proceed this way, there would be no harm, but sometimes they want this, desiring it one time and wanting that another time.
The Shaykh: A wise person can manage to get out of this; but we have the issue of visiting graves. If the son believes that it is not permissible for a woman to visit the cemetery and his mother asks to visit, he does not take her;Because Allah said: [Luqman: 15], and every sin requested by the father or mother is measured by this, so they are not obeyed in it. (There is no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator). But there are things—as you mentioned—in which the son and the parents may differ. In such cases, there is no harm in giving them what is disputed, provided that he himself does not do it.
The questioner: He did not do it himself, but he wants to please his mother.
The Shaykh: He gives it to his mother alone, but he does not do it himself.
The questioner: Because it is permissible for her?The Shaykh: Yes; because it is permissible for her. And here is a problem different from this one:There is a person who says: If his father considers smoking permissible, while he considers it forbidden,His father says to him: and he says: Go, my son, here are ten riyals, buy some tobacco with them. This is a problem; because he considers it forbidden and the father considers it lawful.
The questioner: This is not a major issue.
The Shaykh: No, this is one of the most difficult ones.Then the father may not have money and says: Buy it for me with your own money.
The questioner: And similarly, qat, may Allah reward you?The Shaykh: Yes, and similarly, qat among the people of Yemen.
The Shaykh: The parents say: Get us some of this meat.Or they say: Do not bring it?The questioner: They say: Bring us some of it.
The Shaykh: And he does not want to.
The questioner: Yes.
This is easy; this is not a problem.He says: Your intention is to eat meat, so we will bring you meat.
The questioner: No, he wants this specific type.
The Shaykh: He does not oppose them; he brings a second type.
The questioner: No, he wants the type about which there is disagreement.
The Shaykh: He does not oppose them; the type about which there is disagreement is the one imported from abroad into the country.If the parents say: We want it.He says: You want meat, so we will bring you a substitute.
The questioner: They do not want a substitute.
The Shaykh: And if he brings ordinary meat from local chickens, will they refuse to eat it?The questioner: They do not refuse, but they want this and that; sometimes they want that, and sometimes they want what is available.
The Shaykh: He brings them lamb meat, and there is no problem with that.
The questioner: If it were to proceed this way, there would be no harm, but sometimes they want this, desiring it one time and wanting that another time.
The Shaykh: A wise person can manage to get out of this; but we have the issue of visiting graves. If the son believes that it is not permissible for a woman to visit the cemetery and his mother asks to visit, he does not take her;Because Allah said:
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them
وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلا تُطِعْهُمَاThe questioner: He did not do it himself, but he wants to please his mother.
The Shaykh: He gives it to his mother alone, but he does not do it himself.
The questioner: Because it is permissible for her?The Shaykh: Yes; because it is permissible for her. And here is a problem different from this one:There is a person who says: If his father considers smoking permissible, while he considers it forbidden,His father says to him: and he says: Go, my son, here are ten riyals, buy some tobacco with them. This is a problem; because he considers it forbidden and the father considers it lawful.
The questioner: This is not a major issue.
The Shaykh: No, this is one of the most difficult ones.Then the father may not have money and says: Buy it for me with your own money.
The questioner: And similarly, qat, may Allah reward you?The Shaykh: Yes, and similarly, qat among the people of Yemen.