Is it permissible for a son to address his father by his name or his kunya?
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The questioner : The second question: Is it permissible to address your father by his kunya, saying "O Abu So-and-so," meaning by his eldest son, my eldest brother, and likewise during conversation, given that the father does not dislike it and may even prefer it, and it is a common custom?
The Shaykh : There is nothing wrong with it, meaning: there is nothing wrong with a son addressing his father by his name or his kunya, as long as he does not think his father dislikes it. If he dislikes it, then no. Or if it contradicts the custom of people and he addresses him in front of people, because perhaps the father does not dislike this thing, but the custom of people is that one does not address his father by his name or his kunya. In that case, we say: do not address him by his name or his kunya in front of people, because this is a defect in the eyes of people. I think that if you addressed your father, for example, in the market among people, and his name is 'Abd Allah, and you said "O 'Abd Allah" or "O Abu So-and-so," would people criticize it or not? It appears that people would criticize this. So if it is in front of people, do not address him by his name or his kunya, even if he does not dislike it, because it is a defect in the eyes of people, and they consider this a humiliation of his father. I have even heard a man say: "By Allah! If my son addressed me by my name, I would give him a slap." And what is the meaning of a slap? A strike with the palm of the hand.
The Shaykh : There is nothing wrong with it, meaning: there is nothing wrong with a son addressing his father by his name or his kunya, as long as he does not think his father dislikes it. If he dislikes it, then no. Or if it contradicts the custom of people and he addresses him in front of people, because perhaps the father does not dislike this thing, but the custom of people is that one does not address his father by his name or his kunya. In that case, we say: do not address him by his name or his kunya in front of people, because this is a defect in the eyes of people. I think that if you addressed your father, for example, in the market among people, and his name is 'Abd Allah, and you said "O 'Abd Allah" or "O Abu So-and-so," would people criticize it or not? It appears that people would criticize this. So if it is in front of people, do not address him by his name or his kunya, even if he does not dislike it, because it is a defect in the eyes of people, and they consider this a humiliation of his father. I have even heard a man say: "By Allah! If my son addressed me by my name, I would give him a slap." And what is the meaning of a slap? A strike with the palm of the hand.