If a person responds to an ugly word or deed coming from another person, is he sinful, and what should he do?
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The questioner : If a person responds to an ugly word or deed coming from another person, is he sinful? And what is obligatory for a person in this situation?
The Shaykh : If a person responds to one who wronged him with the like of his wrongdoing, he is not sinful; rather, he is just. Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He, said: And He, the Exalted, said: [An-Nahl 16:126] And He, the Exalted, said: [Al-Baqarah 2:194].
However, the better course is forgiveness and pardon if the person is worthy of it, based on the saying of Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He:[Ash-Shuraa 42:40].
As for if the person is not worthy of it, such as if he is a wicked aggressor against people, and if he were forgiven, he would go on to wrong others, then the better course is not to forgive him. Rather, he has the right to take his due, and taking his due is better, because Allah, the Exalted, made forgiveness conditional upon reform, and He said:[Ash-Shuraa 42:40].
And in that case, forgiveness is not absolutely better than holding someone accountable; rather, it is conditional upon this condition that Allah, Mighty and Majestic, mentioned, which is reform.
On this occasion, I would like to clarify that many people, when an accident happens to a relative of theirs caused by a person, rush to forgive the one who caused the accident. This is a matter for consideration. Rather, the better course is to be patient and look into whether the person who caused the accident is a reckless man who does not care about people and does not concern himself with them, as if people are a flock of sheep to him?
If so, he is not worthy of being forgiven, but rather he should be held accountable for what his crime warrants. Or, if the man who caused the accident is a calm, good, and kind person, but the accident happened to him merely by divine decree and destiny, and he had nothing to do with any intentional aggression, then in that case, forgiving this person is better. Every situation has its own ruling. The important thing is that a person should not rush to forgive and pardon until the matter becomes clear.
The questioner : Very well, may Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : If a person responds to one who wronged him with the like of his wrongdoing, he is not sinful; rather, he is just. Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He, said:
And the recompense for an evil is an evil like it
وَجَزَاءُ سَيِّئَةٍ سَيِّئَةٌ مِثْلُهَاAnd if you punish [an enemy, O believers], punish with an equivalent of that with which you were harmed
وَإِنْ عَاقَبْتُمْ فَعَاقِبُوا بِمِثْلِ مَا عُوقِبْتُمْ بِهِSo whoever has assaulted you, then assault him in the same way that he has assaulted you
فَمَنِ اعْتَدَى عَلَيْكُمْ فَاعْتَدُوا عَلَيْهِ بِمِثْلِ مَا اعْتَدَى عَلَيْكُمْHowever, the better course is forgiveness and pardon if the person is worthy of it, based on the saying of Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He:
but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation - his reward is [due] from Allah
فَمَنْ عَفَا وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَجْرُهُ عَلَى اللَّهِAs for if the person is not worthy of it, such as if he is a wicked aggressor against people, and if he were forgiven, he would go on to wrong others, then the better course is not to forgive him. Rather, he has the right to take his due, and taking his due is better, because Allah, the Exalted, made forgiveness conditional upon reform, and He said:
but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation - his reward is [due] from Allah
فَمَنْ عَفَا وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَجْرُهُ عَلَى اللَّهِAnd in that case, forgiveness is not absolutely better than holding someone accountable; rather, it is conditional upon this condition that Allah, Mighty and Majestic, mentioned, which is reform.
On this occasion, I would like to clarify that many people, when an accident happens to a relative of theirs caused by a person, rush to forgive the one who caused the accident. This is a matter for consideration. Rather, the better course is to be patient and look into whether the person who caused the accident is a reckless man who does not care about people and does not concern himself with them, as if people are a flock of sheep to him?
If so, he is not worthy of being forgiven, but rather he should be held accountable for what his crime warrants. Or, if the man who caused the accident is a calm, good, and kind person, but the accident happened to him merely by divine decree and destiny, and he had nothing to do with any intentional aggression, then in that case, forgiving this person is better. Every situation has its own ruling. The important thing is that a person should not rush to forgive and pardon until the matter becomes clear.
The questioner : Very well, may Allah bless you.