When I return from travel, some female relatives come to greet me, some kiss me, and some I am forced to shake hands with, and they are not among my mahram (relatives one may not marry). What should I do?
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The questioner : A young man, twenty-eight years old, unmarried, working abroad, and committed to the matters of the Shari'ah and fulfilling the rights of Allah (Mighty and Majestic), says: The problem is that when I go to my country during my vacation, I notice that everyone comes to greet me, including: relatives and non-relatives, and friends, both men and women. When these non-mahram women are present, I greet them. I do not shake hands with women except my mahram. Some of these women greet me by hand and kiss me on the forehead, and I am embarrassed by this. What should I do with these elderly women of advanced age, and some of them are young girls, so I am forced to shake their hands instead of kissing them? What is your guidance to us, and what is the correct course in this situation as described?
The Shaykh : The correct course in this is that it is not permissible for you to shake hands with anyone who is not a mahram to you, whether she is young or old, because that leads to fitnah (trial, discord or temptation). And if looking at the face is forbidden, then shaking hands is more severe and greater. It is obligatory for you to advise these women if they extend their hands to you, and to say: This is not permissible.
And what I understood from this question is that these women who greet him are uncovering their faces. If the matter is as I understood, then this is also another calamity. He must forbid them from uncovering their faces in front of him, because this is part of forbidding evil, which is an individual obligation. And if his doing this is in pursuit of the pleasure of Allah and seeking the pleasure of Allah (Mighty and Majestic), then Allah the Exalted will be pleased with him and will make the people pleased with him.
It will not harm him if he says to them in gentle words: This is not permissible for me nor for you. This will not harm him in any way; rather, this is what increases his awe and respect among his female relatives.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, O honorable Shaykh, and may Allah bless you and your knowledge, and benefit the Muslims through you.
The Shaykh : The correct course in this is that it is not permissible for you to shake hands with anyone who is not a mahram to you, whether she is young or old, because that leads to fitnah (trial, discord or temptation). And if looking at the face is forbidden, then shaking hands is more severe and greater. It is obligatory for you to advise these women if they extend their hands to you, and to say: This is not permissible.
And what I understood from this question is that these women who greet him are uncovering their faces. If the matter is as I understood, then this is also another calamity. He must forbid them from uncovering their faces in front of him, because this is part of forbidding evil, which is an individual obligation. And if his doing this is in pursuit of the pleasure of Allah and seeking the pleasure of Allah (Mighty and Majestic), then Allah the Exalted will be pleased with him and will make the people pleased with him.
Indeed, whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah through the anger of the people, Allah will be pleased with him and will make the people pleased with him. And whoever seeks the anger of Allah through the pleasure of the people, Allah will be angry with him and will make the people angry with him.
فإن من التمس رضا الله بسخط الناس رضي الله عنه وأرضى عنه الناس، ومن التمس سخط الله برضا الناس سخط الله عليه وأسخط عنه الناسIt will not harm him if he says to them in gentle words: This is not permissible for me nor for you. This will not harm him in any way; rather, this is what increases his awe and respect among his female relatives.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, O honorable Shaykh, and may Allah bless you and your knowledge, and benefit the Muslims through you.