The Shari'ah Guidelines for Condolences

Question:
When offering condolences, people from some regions come to console their relative, and the family of the deceased prepares lunch and dinner feasts during their stay over the days of condolence. What is the guideline in this matter, O Shaykh? And how do we deal with those who have come from different regions?

Answer:
Answer: Offering condolences is prescribed, but it does not depend on gathering, coming from distant places, or preparing food for the gatherers. All of this is an imposition, and from the burdens and shackles for which Allah has not sent down any authority. One of the Companions said, "We considered gathering at the home of the deceased and preparing food to be part of wailing." The Companions of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) considered this to be part of wailing, and wailing is forbidden, and it is from the characteristics of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance. The meaning of condolence is that you pray for the bereaved, saying, "May Allah console you," and you pray for the deceased, "And may Allah forgive your deceased," "May Allah make your consolation good, and may Allah forgive your deceased, and may Allah console you." This is the formula for condolence. As for the family of the deceased preparing food, this is a religious innovation. The obligatory thing is the opposite: that people prepare food according to the need of the family of the deceased and present it to them according to their need. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), when the news of the death of Ja'far ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) reached him, said to his family, "Prepare food for the family of Ja'far, for they have been occupied by what has befallen them." So food is prepared by other than the family of the deceased; food is prepared for the family of the deceased according to their need, and no food is prepared to be presented to the gatherers, who remain gathered for three days and burden the bereaved with serving them and receiving them, and receiving those who come to them. All of this is something for which Allah has not sent down any authority. Condolence is made easy. If you meet the bereaved in the cemetery, or in the office, or in the mosque, you console him, saying, "May Allah make your consolation good, and may Allah console you, and may Allah forgive your deceased." Or you contact him by means of communication, from a mobile phone, a telephone, or otherwise, and you console him with that. There is no need for gathering, for delegations, and for...