What is the ruling on a man boycotting his wife for more than six months, given that they reside in the same house?
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The questioner : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
What is the legal criterion, in your view, for a man boycotting his wife for more than six months, given that she resides with him in the house?
The Shaykh : Yes, is the boycott in speech, or in the bed?
The questioner : In the bed and in speech.
The Shaykh : As for speech, it is not permissible for anyone to boycott his believing brother for more than three days, no matter who he is: a wife, a relative, a friend, or a man on the street. It is not permissible for a Muslim to boycott his brother for more than three days, ever, even if he is a perpetrator of sin. It is not permissible for him to be boycotted, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: But if the perpetrator of sin has been advised and did not accept the advice, and there is a benefit in boycotting him such that he will repent, then boycotting him is obligatory.
So boycotting is a remedy; when it is beneficial, let it be resorted to, and if it is not beneficial, then it is not.
If someone were to ask: Did not the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) boycott Ka'b ibn Malik and his two companions: Hilal ibn Umayyah and Murarah ibn al-Rabi'?
The answer is: Yes, and the answer is yes, he boycotted them. But did his boycotting of them yield a benefit? Yes, it yielded a great benefit. Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) said:[At-Tawbah 9:118] All of this indicates that the men were affected, [At-Tawbah 9:118].
Boycotting a woman in her bed is explained by Allah (Mighty and Majestic) in the Qur'an with the greatest explanation, and He said:[An-Nisa 4:34] Read what He said regarding speech [An-Nisa 4:34] and they fulfill what is required of them, [An-Nisa 4:34], and if you are of a higher rank than them, remember the exaltation of Allah [An-Nisa 4:34] complete the verse [An-Nisa 4:34], so this is the way.
So it is not permissible for him to boycott her in the bed for six months, nor four months, nor less than that, except if she commits marital defiance and does not repent except through that. Yes.
What is the legal criterion, in your view, for a man boycotting his wife for more than six months, given that she resides with him in the house?
The Shaykh : Yes, is the boycott in speech, or in the bed?
The questioner : In the bed and in speech.
The Shaykh : As for speech, it is not permissible for anyone to boycott his believing brother for more than three days, no matter who he is: a wife, a relative, a friend, or a man on the street. It is not permissible for a Muslim to boycott his brother for more than three days, ever, even if he is a perpetrator of sin. It is not permissible for him to be boycotted, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
It is not permissible for anyone to boycott—or he said: a believer—to boycott his brother for more than three days, they meet and this one turns away and that one turns away, and the best of them is the one who begins with the greeting of peace.
لا يحل لأحد أن يهجر -أو قال: لمؤمن- أن يهجر أخاه فوق ثلاث، يلتقيان فيُعْرِض هذا ويُعْرِض هذا، وخيرُهما الذي يبدأ بالسلامSo boycotting is a remedy; when it is beneficial, let it be resorted to, and if it is not beneficial, then it is not.
If someone were to ask: Did not the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) boycott Ka'b ibn Malik and his two companions: Hilal ibn Umayyah and Murarah ibn al-Rabi'?
The answer is: Yes, and the answer is yes, he boycotted them. But did his boycotting of them yield a benefit? Yes, it yielded a great benefit. Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) said:
And [He also forgave] the three who were left behind [and regretted their error] to the point that the earth closed in on them in spite of its vastness and their souls confined them and they were certain that there is no refuge from Allah except in Him
وَعَلَى الثَّلاثَةِ الَّذِينَ خُلِّفُوا حَتَّى إِذَا ضَاقَتْ عَلَيْهِمُ الْأَرْضُ بِمَا رَحُبَتْ وَضَاقَتْ عَلَيْهِمْ أَنْفُسُهُمْ وَظَنُّوا أَنْ لا مَلْجَأَ مِنَ اللَّهِ إِلَّا إِلَيْهِThen He turned to them so they could repent. Indeed, Allah is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful.
ثُمَّ تَابَ عَلَيْهِمْ لِيَتُوبُوا إِنَّ اللَّهَ هُوَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيمُBoycotting a woman in her bed is explained by Allah (Mighty and Majestic) in the Qur'an with the greatest explanation, and He said:
But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them
وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّin their beds
فِي الْمَضَاجِعِand [finally], strike them. But if they obey you
وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْseek no means against them
فَلا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاًseek no means against them
فَلا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاًIndeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّاً كَبِيراًSo it is not permissible for him to boycott her in the bed for six months, nor four months, nor less than that, except if she commits marital defiance and does not repent except through that. Yes.