Is it permissible for the guardian not to respond to a proposal in order to choose or wait for a suitable match, as this may amount to a man proposing over his brother's proposal?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : What is the ruling on a guardian who... the suitor proposes to his daughter in order to compare between them?
The Shaykh : How?
The questioner : A guardian to whom more than one man proposes for his ward, and he does not respond to the first suitor until he compares between them?
The Shaykh : And people keep coming, perhaps a year may pass between the first and second suitor.
The questioner : It sometimes happens.
The Shaykh : He keeps her for a year?!
The questioner : It sometimes happens, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : This is a mistake, this is a mistakeJami` at-Tirmidhi 1085Da'if (Darussalam).
The questioner : ... he compares their religion.
The Shaykh : If they had proposed, there is no harm, but they did not propose.
The questioner : Did three propose?
The Shaykh : There is no harm if three propose; he chooses whomever he wishes. For this reason, three Companions proposed to Fatimah bint Qays, and she came to consult the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), so he advised her to marry Usamah ibn Zayd.
The questioner : ...
The Shaykh : We do not know, but none of them knew that the other had proposed.
The questioner : The guardian himself who allows...
The Shaykh : If someone comes to the guardian, he should choose the one who is better in religion and character. As for saying, "No, I will not accept this man who is a suitable match because I hope there is a better match."
The questioner : And I will not reject him.
The Shaykh : How can you say you will not reject him?
The questioner : Meaning, a suitor came, and then another suitor came after him... and he says, "I will respond to you."
The Shaykh : There is no problem after a week; indeed, he should be patient, because the matter of marriage is not trivial. Do not be deceived by the fact that a person appears to be righteous on the surface, yes.
The Shaykh : How?
The questioner : A guardian to whom more than one man proposes for his ward, and he does not respond to the first suitor until he compares between them?
The Shaykh : And people keep coming, perhaps a year may pass between the first and second suitor.
The questioner : It sometimes happens.
The Shaykh : He keeps her for a year?!
The questioner : It sometimes happens, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : This is a mistake, this is a mistake
When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you then marry (her to) him
إذا أتاكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فأنكحوهThe questioner : ... he compares their religion.
The Shaykh : If they had proposed, there is no harm, but they did not propose.
The questioner : Did three propose?
The Shaykh : There is no harm if three propose; he chooses whomever he wishes. For this reason, three Companions proposed to Fatimah bint Qays, and she came to consult the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), so he advised her to marry Usamah ibn Zayd.
The questioner : ...
The Shaykh : We do not know, but none of them knew that the other had proposed.
The questioner : The guardian himself who allows...
The Shaykh : If someone comes to the guardian, he should choose the one who is better in religion and character. As for saying, "No, I will not accept this man who is a suitable match because I hope there is a better match."
The questioner : And I will not reject him.
The Shaykh : How can you say you will not reject him?
The questioner : Meaning, a suitor came, and then another suitor came after him... and he says, "I will respond to you."
The Shaykh : There is no problem after a week; indeed, he should be patient, because the matter of marriage is not trivial. Do not be deceived by the fact that a person appears to be righteous on the surface, yes.